A Love that is Wide and Long and High and Deep

The baby arrived in the early morning hours of Christmas Eve day.

The parents had prepared a room for her complete with soft blankets and lullaby music. They were so ready to hold her.

She appeared at 3:20am.

And they waited to hear her cry.

They held their breath and whispered a prayer when the room was void of the precious, first cry.

“Why isn’t she crying?”

“Why isn’t she crying?”

It was then that her mom and dad heard her make tiny sounds, sounds as if she were trying to speak.

But there was no cry.

The nurse wrapped her in a warm blanket and allowed her mother to touch her tiny hand before whisking her out of the room.

Her dad followed the nurse.

Her mother cried.

It was explained to her parents that this tiny baby was not ready to be born yet. She couldn’t cry because her lungs had not fully developed.

The arms that ached to hold her would be empty.

And the room that was prepared for her would have to wait.

Later that evening, the baby’s mother sat quietly in a lonely, darkened hospital room. She had all the physical comforts she needed- shelter from the cold winter wind outside her window, food if she was hungry, and a pillow to cry into.

She had just walked back from a visit to the NICU. She had looked through the glass that separated her from her infant. She saw the IV and tubes and monitors connected to her innocent baby as she lay tucked in an incubator.

How she longed to hold her. But more than that, she longed for someone to tell her everything would be okay.

The birth of her Savior took on a deeper meaning that night.

She had read the story countless times.

Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem and found no safe, comfortable place to sleep.

Throngs of people everywhere and yet the baby Jesus arrived without fanfare.

You say the angels were there? No, scripture tells us the angels announced the birth to the shepherds and then went back to heaven.

We often picture angels singing the Hallelujah Chorus over the cave where Jesus was born. Luke 2 truly paints a very different picture of a dark hollowed out grotto with maybe the light of a fire that Joseph might have prepared to warm them.

The shepherds hurried to see this spectacle that had been announced. They must have told Joseph and Mary about the grand baby declaration; why else would they have been allowed to look in on the newborn Jesus.

The manger was not a soft bed. It was a trough hewn out of rock. The only warmth was from the cloths Mary had carefully wrapped him in and perhaps some straw in the trough that was meant to feed the animals.

After the shepherds left we read that Mary treasured and pondered these “things” in her heart.

Did she hold Jesus close and vow to never let anyone hurt Him?

Did tears slip from her eyes and gently fall on tiny hands as she pressed her lips to his forehead?

Was she overwhelmed with love and the weight of responsibility as she gazed at his face and gently traced his lips and chin?

Did she smile with pride as she counted his fingers and toes?

Did her heart skip a beat as she remembered this is the child who came to save the world?

 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

The shepherds returned to their post, glorifying God and praising Him for all the things they had seen and heard.

And the world would never be the same.

The worry slipped away from her as the young Mom considered the birth of Christ.

If God could create the world and everything in it

If God knew all there was to know

If God provided a way for forgiveness and eternity in Heaven

If God’s love was wide, long, high and deep

And if God sent His very Son to sacrifice His life…

This same God could take care of her tiny infant that struggled to breathe.

This same God would provide more than enough peace and strength and hope and joy…

She walked back down to the NICU and gazed in at her beautiful little girl and whispered a prayer.

A prayer of praise, glorifying God for His provision

A prayer of dedication, giving this baby back to her creator

And a prayer of faith, trusting Him to work His perfect will in her.

Are you struggling to breathe?

Are your shoulders low with the weight of concern over things you cannot control?

Is your mind burdened with the difficulties of life?

Is your heart heavy with sorrow?

Oh, stop.

Look into the grotto and see the Christ-child.

Look beyond the darkness of the cave and see the Savior.

See the God whose love is wide, long, high and deep.

Whisper a prayer of faith, trusting Him to work His perfect will.

God can.

This is Christmas.

Oh, that sweet tiny little girl born at 3:20am on Christmas Eve day?

She’s all grown up now and God is working His perfect will in her life as she is a beautiful, kind hearted gift to all who know her.

The Little Marine Ornament Looking Up at Me

Freedom. Pride. America.

The little Marine ornament

Dressed in blue and smiling back at me,

Is a personal reminder

Freedom isn’t free.

Truths so familiar and yet unclear;

Will what has been always be?

And now a new light is shining

On the truth that freedom isn’t free.

The colors and lights are all the same;

The music is familiar… the aroma of the tree.

And yet there hangs an ornament;

It is a personal reminder that freedom isn’t free.

Old men with furrowed brow of experience untold,

History lessons of battles fought unselfishly

The sound of taps over flagged farewell

These are the sights and sounds of a freedom that isn’t free.

A mothers tear, a fathers faith

A sisters wishing, and a brothers pride that sees,

The grandparent’s prayers and the lover who waits,

With heavy hearts knowing freedom isn’t free.

We thank God for His priceless gift

Jesus, the author of love and grace and mercy

And we pray for His careful watch and protection

Over those who pay the price, for freedom isn’t free.

Enjoy the thrills this season brings

With grateful heart and bended knee

Whisper a prayer for those who answer the call

To sacrifice and protect a freedom that isn’t free.

We cannot take for granted

Years and tears and battles fought with bravery

We must defend and cherish this treasure

And refuse to forget that freedom isn’t free

The little Marine ornament

Dressed in blue and smiling back at me,

Is a personal reminder

Freedom isn’t free.

A Thrill of Hope...

"Turn that music off," She spat. Her voice trembled as she repeated herself and added, "I can't stand it. I just can't stand it!"

"O holy night, the stars are brightly shining..." filled the air, welcoming the little ones as they arrived.  The music muted; she turned on her heal and walked briskly into the room to wait for the soon to arrive 3 year old children.

She sat in the only adult-sized chair in the room and she hung her head.

 How can it be Christmas? How can there be happiness? One moment I was content and confident in my faith. Trusting.

I knew the time was near. I begged God for one more day. That voice, that deep and beautiful voice...just let me hear it one more time.

And then He pulled the rug out from under me. That call. Sorrow and rage consumed me when I heard the news. He was gone, without a final good-bye. Without a hug. Without one more 'I love you.' I was on my way, God! Almost there, could you not keep his spirit here for a few simple moments longer? His voice removed from this earth and placed in a perfect body...oh, his voice, will I always remember his voice? The call came...and the world kept turning.

Rage still gnawed at her. She stood and looked out the window; the sun was bright in spite of the cold air. Little bits of snow escaped the sparse clouds and appeared to be dancing to the ground. Flakes settled gently, sparkling briefly before melting into the pavement.

She felt she did not belong here today…in church. How could she show God's love to children? She didn't feel His love. Picking up her purse and Bible, she glanced at the director with eyes that burned with bitter tears, and walked out the door. The director was speechless. She could feel it oozing from the directors wordless face. Pity. Pity that started at the top of her gray streaked head and slinked downward, covering her in a pathetic overcoat of sympathy.

Her Daddy's voice. Her handsome and strong Daddy. No one knew that she still felt like an 8 year old little girl when it came to her Daddy. When did they both grow so old?

Oh, it's true that his once rock hard biceps seemed to go soft overnight. And yes, his voice was a bit shaky when he sang. It didn't change the fact that when he said her name, the sound cascaded from her ears to her heart and she felt so loved.

She wanted to run, but her own weary bones protested the thought. She looked up at the bright blue sky as the frigid breeze brushed past her face and a few stray snowflakes kissed her cheeks.

God, I am so very angry. You have a careless way of loving me. I have tried to trust you. I have tried to serve you. What do I get in return? What good does it do to trust You?

She slipped into the driver's seat, slamming the door and pitching her Bible aside as she tried to take a deep breath and let go of today's pain.

The clumsy toss of the big black leather book caused it to flop open and papers scattered to the floorboard.

She started the engine, turning up the heat to warm her iced toes. Reaching for the papers...

There it was.

Slightly browned with the passage of time.

Edges crumbling. 

Masculine handwriting in beautiful, old cursive letters of faded ink.

It had been tucked in her Bible more than fifteen years.

Her hands trembled as she carefully began to unfold the treasure. She ran her fingers over the words. She had read it countless times.

...I saddled the horse this morning and we took our time heading over to the lake. I watched  an orange and purple sunrise that didn't last long enough.

Christmas will be here soon. I will think of you as you watch the excitement in the faces of your kids. Time passes too quickly; enjoy your family. Enjoy every moment.

"O Holy Night" floated out of the car speakers. The words surrounded her as she wept. She could hear her Daddy's voice as she continued to read, the lines are blurred between Christmas memories of my own boyhood and special moments with you kids. My dad played his harmonica as we tore off the newsprint wrapping to discover our handmade gifts. You and your sisters always had eyes that sparkled with the lights from the tree. The celebrations were different and yet, both celebrated the birth of Christ. The One who came to set the captives free.

Long lay the world, in sin and error pining.

 Till He appeared, and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,

 for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn...

The thick, calloused walls around her heart began to break away and she felt peace. Pain became a shadow as the joy of celebrating the Savior came into focus.

The anger she felt towards God lost its grip on her as she settled her thoughts on The One who set the captives free. His mercy is powerful enough to cover all the ages of time.

Bitterness transformed into gratefulness. Her Daddy will celebrate this Christmas in timeless paradise, at the feet of Jesus alongside her grandfather. Maybe Grandpa will play his harmonica. A day will come when I will join them for the greatest of Christmas celebrations of all.

...Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,

His power and glory evermore proclaim.

O night divine, O night, O night divine!

Maybe this year, I will wrap our gifts in newsprint and tell my grandchildren about Christmas past.

God's Hope for a Better Tomorrow, God's Plan for a Better Today

I have heard it all…call me if you’re desperate…no, no, kids just aren’t my thing…I did that last month…I’m just not feeling it…

If you know me at all, you know these are some responses to the question “Will you teach the kids?”

And, after I get over myself and the frustration of it all, I think to myself How sad, they really don’t know what a blessing they are missing.

A dear, sweet lady stopped by a room a few weeks ago where I was reading a book to half a dozen preschool kids. She thanked me for being good at my job and then she corrected herself and thanked me for being good at what I do. What a kind and sweet encouragement it was to be appreciated. Sometimes taking care of the little people is taken for granted.

But then, there are those sweet God-sent souls who see the potential and purpose in caring for God’s babies. These sweet little rascals that cry when momma leaves them, push their friend to the floor over a truck, slobber on toys and ask for Daddy 1,600 times…well, they are God’s hope for a better tomorrow. I will take that a step further and tell you they are God’s plan for a better today.

I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately. God has sent beautiful hands and feet my way during the struggles.

So this is for God’s family…whether you are there for me or for your pastor or for your preschool director at your church…

Thank you for having eyes that see what’s important.

Thank you for offering to help before I have asked.

Thank you for responding “I’d be glad to” when I do ask.

Thank you for texting that Bible verse.

Thank you for sending me a picture of one of those precious little faces when I can’t be there to see her.

Thank you for allowing me to give attention where it is needed without worry over the most important people in the church—the children.

Thank you Brenda, Luann, Jeff, Barbara, Hannah, Kevin, Tammy, Dorothy, Charlene, Luann, Starr, Kenny, Sean Paul, Johnna, Lance, Peggie, Tim, Susan, Don, Sandy, Beverly, Melissa, Diane, Mary, Dixie, Jennie, Kay, Alisha, Cindy, Sandy, Misty, April, Rachel, Jean Ann, Penny, Linda, Amanda, Melissa, Sherry, Amy, Danae, Oscar, Haley, Chuck, Melissa, Mary Jo, and Toni.(and yes, I know there are names mentioned more than once)

YOU are answers to my prayers. My prayers for God to send people who are ALL-IN as one precious friend puts it…prayers for God to provide the people who are willing to serve and worship through teaching and loving the little ones.

Some folks know that there are many ways to worship our King…and one of those ways is by caring for those who cannot take care of themselves.

And they know the supreme blessing that follows.

Children—God’s hope for a better tomorrow and His plan for a better today.

I'm Sorry. I Didn't Know.

It's November and Facebook accounts are lighting up with "Today I am thankful for..."
I think it's great to use fb in a positive way. My husband has always said the internet and social media are neither good nor bad, it's all in how they are used. He's right.

So, I thought I'd do my own "thankful challenge" and give you a list of people we often forget to thank. I will try not to preach.

The overlooked and under-thanked:

The custodian at work/church
The person at the drive-thru window
The pharmacy tech
Office assistants and receptionists
Your church pianist and praise band/choir members
Your best friend
The mail carrier
The IT guy/gal
A good neighbor
Your veterinarian
That person who is always there for you
YOUR MOTHER
Your bank teller
The lady at the check out that you see several times a week (the bagger as well)
While we are at the grocery store, don't forget the butcher and baker
VETERANS
School teachers and principles
The bus driver
The mechanic
The coach


And near and dear to my heart, take time to thank the people at church who teach and keep your children safe while you are in Sunday School, worship, choir rehearsal, meetings...don't be in such a hurry when you drop kids off or pick the kids up that you can't take a moment to appreciate the teachers for faithfully giving their time and their hearts. Great children's classes and childcare operates smoothly and to the point that folks never think twice about it being available. Because I get to work closely with the people who do such a great job at our church, I know of their personal concerns and struggles--health, family, work--and yet they give each week. Stop and say thank you.

As a matter of fact, the list of overlooked and under-thanked is full of folks who also have struggles.
Most importantly, we don't know the spiritual health of any person in our circles at work, school or church. Be Jesus to those with whom you come in contact.

Have you ever been quick to judge or fuss at someone only to have them reply by telling you they have just experienced a life altering or very troubling day and you immediately respond "I'm sorry, I didn't know"? The Holy Spirit has convicted me more than once, we shouldn't have to "know" what's going on in another person's life before we know how to treat them.

Scripture is so clear. Treat others as more important than yourself. That is not followed by an "unless you didn't know" or any other disclaimer.

Perhaps the most important way you can show your gratitude for the people in your life is to pray for them. Truly pray for them.
And when you say thank you, let them know you prayed for them. It will change the course of their day...and yours too.

I Just Feel Like No One Loves Me

It happened around this time many years ago. It was one of those "mom moments" I will never forget.

We have 4 kids and, except for the year my sweet mother-in-law made them costumes to wear to the church party, the kids have suffered as I always greatly lacked in the creative costume department. (And yes, occasionally I still beat myself up for the ways I should have done better)

This particular year all but one child was ready to go to the "Hallelujah Party" (our church equivalent of a fall fest). We piled in the big green van and stopped at a CVS to find a costume. It was October 31st...you can imagine the selection. We grabbed the most appropriate one and climbed back in the van. The child got right to work getting dressed.

And then I heard it.

A rip.

The painful sound of fabric tearing.

What came next was heartbreaking.

My child's small voice from the back of the van, "I just feel like no one loves me."

Epic fail.

I was a terrible birthday party mom. I was severely stunted in the holiday department. I needed assistance with  assisting them in the science fair madness each year...but my love?

I loved my kids with a fierce love. As they have grown into adulthood, my love has grown too. It has gone from fierce to fiercer to fiercerer.

As I have driven all over East Tennessee this week, I have been in awe of God's creative power. The vibrant colors are truly breath taking. As it rains leaves each time the wind blows I am taken back to my own childhood when I would stay outside in God's playground until my mom called me in.

When I was little, I knew there was a God who loved me very much. I'd look at the tall birch trees and the beautiful pines and I saw The Creator. I'd watch the squirrels as they scurried about getting ready for the Minnesota winter that loomed around the corner, and I felt the presence of The One who loved me enough to make the amazing world in which I was growing up.

My child was greatly saddened by circumstances. In my child's young heart and mind disappointment translated into a lack of love because if the love was there, this would not have happened.

I gave my heart to Jesus as a teenager. Through the valleys of growing in my faith, I admit to you I have wondered where God's love for me had gone. There were seasons in life when I had no doubt that He loved me enough to provide a way to have a forever relationship with Him, but  at the same time I wondered where He went when I was hurting.

In the middle of the trials of life, had He gone to sleep? Was He busy taking care of someone else? Did He stop loving me?


My child is not alone in feeling unloved in a moment of despair. Nevertheless, my love for my children is not impacted by how they feel or what they are experiencing at any given moment. 

There were bullies at school.

Sickness came and went.

There were times of discipline.

Friends would betray.

A heart would break.

And my love never wavered.

I have learned that in life:

People I love get sick.

Money gets tight.

Friends betray me.

And, yes, there are times I am disciplined.

God's love never wavers.

Isn't it great to know that God's love doesn't change according to how I feel? 

A favorite passage in Ephesians 3 describes God's love: "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

God's love for you is deep. Today might be a day filled with disappointment or the unknown, but it doesn't change His vast love for you.

Hey, by the way, I am a grandma now and my love is fiercest and fiercerest.



 

Truth Matters: The Banghazi Hearings

To be totally honest…

To tell you the truth…

The truth as I see it…

I’m watching the Benghazi Hearings as they question Hillary C. My personal politics aside, I am passionate about my country, the United States’ men and women in the military, and the lies that flowed out of the mouths of officials in the days and weeks (and even now) following that horrible night.

I realize that most of our kids are in school as I write this and even if they were home they would likely not be watching this exchange. As our elected leaders dance around the truth, I wonder…have so many lies been told that no one even knows the truth? Have so many lies been told that the liar believes his/her own lies? Or are we all to the place where we have accepted lies as the norm and relative truth rules the day?

Several years ago I had the privilege of meeting with a group of teenage girls once a week. I asked them if it was possible to go an entire day without lying. They all said no. They did not believe me when I said not only is it possible to go a full day, it is possible to be a truthful person for weeks and months.

Truth is important to God. He, in fact, is Truth. As a believer in the Lord Jesus I know personally that the truth truly does set me free. Truth is of such importance to God that it made the list of the perfect ten for living. Read the list of the 7 things God hates, you will find a lying tongue.

Understand that when truth is attacked on any level God is under attack. Relative truth is a scheme of the devil. He started it in the garden when he asked, “Did God REALLY say...” and he said, “Did God REALLY mean…” Lies place doubts in the mind and heart. Doubts and faith do not belong in the same space.

Teach your children:

It is not okay to tell half of the story.

It is not okay to change just one little word so you feel better about what you’re saying.

Tell the truth.

No matter who you are truth should be central in your character.

Do not fear the truth.

If you don’t know the truth, don’t make up an answer.

Tell the truth.

Truth is for our good.

As you teach your kids, be sure you are living it. Show them truth.  Be certain your kids see you making decisions, speaking, parenting, working, loving all based on truth.

Protect your kids from a lifestyle of lies. I know there is a lot you cannot control, but it is your responsibility to step up and protect your kids from adopting the lifestyle the world offers. Ask yourself:

What movies/programs am I allowing my kids to watch?

What video games am I allowing my kids to play?

When I know my child just lied to me, no matter how small the matter might be, do I pass over the lie because I do not have the energy to deal with it? Or do I take the opportunity to teach just how important truth is?

Am I open with my kids about how difficult is it at times to be honest, but in spite of the struggle, the truth should always be told?

Have I taken the time to teach my kids that once a lie is told and trust is broken it takes time to rebuild that trust?

I want the parents of my TOBC kids to know, that if and when your child lies to me, I will not walk away or pat him/her on the head. There are times I see an action or hear unkind words and I question the guilty only to be lied to. I understand, no one wants to be in trouble. But I will not let the opportunity to teach, in love, that the truth is important to God.

Confession—I made many mistakes as my kids were growing up. My kids are all real people; they came from parents who are real people. Aren’t you glad, that we are all in the same boat but the word of God is in the boat with us?

I realize I have barely scratched the surface of the value of truth. Please search your Bible for yourself. Invite your kids to search with you. Discover truth together.

The horrible attacks were 3 years ago and, because people do not want to just tell the truth, we are still trying to figure it all out. My heart aches for the families. My heart aches for America.

Truth Matters.

When I Walk Through The Door--What Teens & Kids Wish You Knew

When I walk Through the Door…

I am glad you are at church when I get there. I’m glad I can count on you to be there.

When I come to church

              Please don’t assume my insides are as together as my outsides appear. It is easy to put on the Sunday face…

                        You might think you know my family- but you don’t. It’s possible that my dad is addicted to pain pills or my mom would rather work than be with me. It’s possible that my parents fight all the time and have separate bedrooms.

       Don’t over-concern yourself with how straight I sit or how closely you think I am paying attention. I may be slumped in my chair with my head down, but I am hearing every word.

                                              Keep yourself mindful that perhaps I have a parent who is chronically ill….

Please, please be happy to see me. Sometimes I wonder why my teachers at school seem happier to see me than you do. I need to know you genuinely care about me, not because you HAVE to but because you feel it in your heart.

When I come to church

                 Please don’t assume I am content with myself…would you be surprised to know I’ve contemplated suicide?

     I need you to laugh with me.  School is hard, home is hard, I have struggles I don’t tell anyone.

I want to learn about Jesus but I NEED to see Him in you. I NEED you to SHOW me why this Christian way of living is best.

I don’t understand when you are grouchy and take it out on me. I can stay home for that.

                       I love it when you listen to me and I can tell you are truly listening. I feel accepted and important to you when you are smiling, call me by my name, and hug me!

                                                   I feel secure when you pray with me and the prayer is not generic but specific to the things I have told you. It means a lot when you remember and ask me about the things we have prayed about together.

When “things” happen in my life I want to know I can call you. I need you to cry with me, laugh with me, dream with me, cheer for me, be Jesus in my life.

I am glad you are at church when I get there. I’m glad I can count on you to be there.

Maybe this is what the adult next to you wishes you knew as well.

Acts 2

                                                       

Today is the Day

When Tommy and I married I thought he was the most handsome man I knew. He loved God and was determined to follow His lead no matter the cost. He was strong, full of character, kind, and smart. I knew him well enough to know I would be with him the rest of my life. Looking back over the journey of nearly 34 years, I realize I hardly knew him when we began our lives together.

   I asked Jesus to be my Savior when I was 15. I had begun to learn who He is many years earlier. I remember walking through Minnesota woods and looking up at the beautiful Minnesota sky and thinking there must be someone out there who made all this. I knew that there was a God who must love us very much. I experienced His love through the people who taught me in Vacation Bible School and the weekly religion day our school provided. I remember asking my mom questions about God. I learned that He loved me and He carried the whole world in His hands. I learned through Bible stories that He is compassionate and patient, mighty and strong.

   I have learned a lot over the years. I have experienced that each trial, great or small, is allowed so I can grow. I know that the Scripture is true; He is faithful to continue the work He began in me. I can trust him because I know Him.

   God has given each of us the gift and the marching orders to know Him and to be the one to help others know Him. We have the freedom to choose what we invest our time in. As a pastor’s wife and children’s ministry director, I get to spend every day investing in others. Sometimes I get frustrated when folks don’t seem to “get” the importance of what goes on in the classrooms with the kids. If you were to stand outside a room and listen, it would sound like a lot of fun, and fun it is! We try to deliver every Bible truth we teach in fun, but we know it is life and death serious business. As we commit ourselves to this end, we need parents and families whose commitment surpasses ours.

 If I could communicate one thing to parents it would be the importance of being the ones to disciple their own kids. I would ask parents to commit Deuteronomy 6 to their memories. Parents should purposefully weigh every activity they lead their kids to be a part of against Deuteronomy 6 and if that activity doesn’t measure up to have the guts to say no. Because you see, if you don’t know Him, it doesn’t matter how talented you are, how much stuff you have, how well you play ball or how many friends you have. The Bible says if you don’t know Him, the rest is worthless.

    Dad, mom, it’s never too late to start down the path that leads your kids to knowing God. It isn’t an easy path, but God is the promise keeper who has told us that when we obey Him, He will walk with us and be our God and we will be His people.  Search for a church that preaches and teaches the truth and you will find a support system in place that will not judge your shortcomings but will be glad to help you along the way. Today is the day.

   After many adventures in ministry, parenthood and life, I now know Tommy well. I do not take for granted the fact that he is still the most handsome man I know, strong, full of character, kind, and smart. I am still enamored in knowing he will follow God’s lead no matter the cost. He has clean hands and a pure heart. His children and I can tell you we trust him because we know him.

    It is my heart’s desire for EVERY child to be able to say I TRUST GOD BECAUSE I KNOW HIM.

 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes.” Jeremiah 17:7-8.

I Trust Him because I Know Him.

Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big or Baby Got Back

Okay ladies…can we talk?

It begins around the age of 13 or 14 when we first ask the question, “Do these jeans make my butt look big?” We get a little older and buy 17 magazine so we can see how the beautiful people live. Remember trying to find the lip gloss you read about and believing the promise that Stridex would give you a clear complexion? And so, without really realizing it, we step on the treadmill of self worth.

The Lie? Your size and appearance determine your worth.

A few years later, after we marry prince charming, we get a hold of Good Housekeeping or Southern Living magazine and begin to take a look at our homes. The perfect patterned pillows must be found that will match the sofa and paint must be the ideal shade of whatever-is-hot-at-the-time. You’re feeling pretty good about your interior decorating skills until you turn on HGTV and you crash and burn…kick the treadmill up a notch!

The lie? When your house is clean and the hand towels match the pot holders, it proves that you love your family and it makes you a really good wife.

When the children come along, you read the best parenting blogs and watch Chip Ingram DVD’s and you are determined that your children will be the brightest in preschool, their socks will always match their shirt and they will never pitch a honkin’ big fit in Walmart and they will always share with siblings and eat all their veggies….kick it up another notch!

 The lie? “When your children are really smart and well behaved, it proves that you are a good mom. You’re value is high when your children are the best in everything!”

You see, when these things are achieved, we feel good about ourselves. A slim figure, the cleanest home, children that can say the alphabet backwards before they are potty trained!

“Look at me, I’m in control of my body, I’m in control of my home and, YES! I’m in control of my children!”

Sounds good but reality is…

You eat right, excersize and begin to get close to that illusive size 8 and then, you wake up one morning and you look at yourself in the mirror and you say, “My nose is really big! And my hands look old!”

Your house is clean, you are wearing makeup, there are warm cookies on the counter and a breeze is blowing through the open windows and no one drops by! 2 days later, it’s almost noon and there’s laundry on the couch, supper dishes from the night before in the sink, the family room resembles Toy R Us, you are wearing sweats…it’s a scary sight and there’s a knock at the door. You look up to see Rugrat 1 has opened the door and Rugrat 2 has learned to remove her own diaper and is doing the nakey dance!

This treadmill is getting tiresome!

I’m sure I am the only Mom, upon picking up a preschool child, to see a little sad face report, only to hear that today the child bit the teacher in the leg, dumped Jell-O on another kid and told the entire class at story time that.

Somebody just kicked it up another notch!

There are many places we find our self worth. Body image, home, children. How about career--doing what you are good at and being really good at what you do? Maybe community projects like the Jr. Women’s Club or volunteering at a soup kitchen.

You know, all these things are good and have their place. The problem comes when they are the fuel that keeps you going. It’s kinda like filling a cup that has a slow leak. You’ll never be content, you’ll never feel full. You will continue on the treadmill at increasing speeds.

 I’m here to deliver the message that your worth has nothing to do with your size, your ability to match paint samples or that your children would never run in the halls!

It begins in the beginning…Genesis 1:26 “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our own image, according to our likeness.’ God created you in His image. Now, does God have 10 fingers and 10 toes? Does He have hair and does He have legs? “In His image” is not a physical thing, it is a spiritual thing. You were created with the ability to commune with God, have a relationship with Him. You were created with the ability to love.

When God created us, He knew there would be problems, He knew we would choose to do things our own way. Ephesians 1:4….

Long before he laid down earths foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us the focus of His love, to be made whole and holy by His love. Long, long ago He decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure He took in this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved son.

Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, His blood poured out on the alter of the Cross, we’re a perfect people—free from penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on all the plans He took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

Its  in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone.

Oh, did you get that? God had his eye on YOU before you ever heard of him. Jesus died on the cross so that YOU would have meaning and purpose in life, so that YOU would have a relationship with him!  He had designs on YOU for glorious living!

 In Christ we find out who we are and what we are living for!

When you give your entire being to Jesus, you step off the treadmill. You find that he said Come to me those who are weary. He said he will give you rest. He said nothing- death nor life, present nor future nor any other created thing (love handles, a messy house, a sassy child) can ever separate us from His love!!

When our children were very young, my husband would say,

 “Do you know how much I love you?”

“No, Daddy”

“I love you more than the whole world! Do you know why I love you?”

 “No, Daddy”

“Because God gave you to me!”

 Very soon, he would ask, “Do you know how much I love you?”

 “More than the whole world!”

“Do you know why I love you?”

 “Because God gave me to you!”

God’s love is even greater than that! He loves you deeply whether you are his child or not. If you are not, he’s waiting for you to just get off life’s treadmill and step into his rest.

 Have you ever watched your child struggle to put a puzzle together, trying to force the pieces where they do not belong? You say, “Here, let me help you” and oh my goodness! They throw a fit because they want to do it themselves! That’s what we do. We try to get all the pieces to fit, we push and we force and we know it’s not working.  God says’ just turn to me, I made the puzzle, I know where all the pieces go!

Long before he laid down earths foundations, He had us in mind…

The Junk Drawer of Life: I am the Samaritan Woman

Growing up we had a junk drawer in the kitchen. Much to my husband’s dismay, I have continued the tradition.

The junk drawer is full of trinkets and what-nots that I am not yet ready to throw away but there is no other spot in the house in which they could belong. If you glanced over the contents you might pick up a certain piece and wonder why it’s still there. Mixed in among the stuff that I could toss are things that bring a flood of memories. Truth is, you don’t know the back story of sweet pudgy little boy hands that played for hours with that matchbox car or the little girl that needed help putting that shoe on her baby doll. It might look like trash to you, but to me, it is treasure.

Jesus and His disciples were traveling from Judea to Galilee. The Bible states that they had to travel through Samaria. Samaria was the “junk drawer” of the day. Jews would travel the long way around to keep from sharing air space with a Samaritan.

Jesus was exhausted. He sat at Jacob’s well and sent his disciples to buy food. A woman arrived to draw water from the well. Jesus asked for a drink.

Please understand, Samaria was the junk drawer, Samaritan women were unworthy of even taking up space in the junk drawer.

And yet Jesus spoke to her. He asked her for a drink of water.

She was taken aback at first. Men didn’t speak in public to women and most certainly Jews did not speak to Samaritan women.

Basically Jesus told her, “If you knew God…if you knew His gift to you…if you knew who just asked you for a drink of water, you would ask Him and He would give you living water.”

She didn’t understand what He meant by living water.

They continued to converse and Jesus revealed that He knew her and everything about her. He knew her past failures and her present condition. He knew her struggles and her pain. Her knew her guilt and her shame.

And yet Jesus spoke to her.

Imagine with me if you will, a tired woman coming late in the evening...alone…to the well to draw water. She was not only living in the junk drawer, her choices in life had made her an outcast among her own people.

Looking in the distance, she sees there is a man at the well and wonders to herself if he will ridicule her.

Should I turn away and come back later? I cannot, for it is late and I need water.

Maybe she stiffens her back, with a rebellious attitude brought on by her life’s choices, and walks with purpose: He will have to move, I have work to do.

Perhaps she takes a deep breath and moves forward determined: I have done the best I can with my life and this man has no right to judge me.

I see her as lonely and weary: You can do this. Just don’t look at him. Get the water and get back home to the safety of a closed door.

And then He spoke to her.

The story is beautiful as Jesus’ love for her flows freely and He tells her about Living Water. She is thirsty, not from the journey to the well that warm evening. She is thirsty because she has tried to quench her parched life with what seemed right at the time. Husband after husband after husband after husband after husband…

We thirst because we fill our lives with what seems right…

I will be a good person and I will feel good about myself.

I will buy pretty things and surround myself with the security of stuff.

I will eat whatever I please because food tastes good and it makes me happy.

I will please the people around me, because if people are happy with me I am doing something right.

Life has dealt me a raw hand I am going to get what’s mine.

I will believe whatever comforts me today. A moment of peace is better than no peace at all.

As Jesus spoke, her fractured heart began to heal. He offered her living water- healing and peace that is never-ending. Perfect love and acceptance. Forgiveness without a hitch.

I see the tired lines on her old-too-early face begin to soften as she realizes she is in the presence of the Messiah.  Her shoulders, once heavy with the weight of her sins, are slowly rising with relief as Jesus lovingly removes each burden she carried.

She arrived at the well in a hopeless mess of her own doing. She left the well a new woman.

She ran back to Samaria and told the men there about her divine appointment. She said “Come see! Come see! He told me everything I ever did!”

The recounting of what happened that day ends with the men of Samaria saying “We no longer believe because of what you said, for we have heard for ourselves  and know that this really is the Savior of the world.”

Jesus stayed for two days before going on to Galilee.

I hope I never forget I am the Samaritan woman.

I hope I never fail to look at all people around me as a treasure.

Jesus came to give you living water.

He truly is the Savior of the world!

Dying for a Selfie

March, 2014—an online article surfaced that announced the American Psychiatric Society had declared taking selfies was a mental disorder called Selfitis. The article even gave 3 levels of illness:

• Borderline selfitis : taking photos of one’s self at least three times a day but not posting them on social media
• Acute selfitis: taking photos of one’s self at least three times a day and posting each of the photos on social media
• Chronic selfitis: Uncontrollable urge to take photos of one’s self  round the clock and posting the photos on social media more than six times a day

We all know folks who might fall into each of these categories.  You know, scrolling through your FaceBook newsfeed, mixed in among the “what I had for lunch” and “I’m so mad at my family” rants we all get to see the most famous selfie.

We might need to start a foundation for those caught in the selfie fray, or maybe have a color run to get the word out. We could design posters: Stop Selfitis Now! It Begins With You and place them in school halls and break rooms all across America.

We could do these things if the story was accurate, but alas, it’s bogus.

What is a fact is people are actually dying as they push the boundaries to get the most daring selfie.  Selfies such as posing with a lion…that’s right, a real, in the wild lion. How about dangling off a bridge or pulling the pin from a hand grenade?

Yellowstone Park has issued warnings about selfies with Bison after 5 separate selfitis sufferers were gored because they were a bit too close.

A San Diego man earned himself a $153,000 hospital bill after getting a snakebite selfie.

India has actually implemented a “No Selfie Zone” at one of their festivals for fear of the snap-takers causing a stampede.

On the upside, Australia is capitalizing on the selfie trend by installing GigaSelfie Platforms at some of their amazing tourist sites.

Whether authorities are encouraging safe selfies or banning them, they agree that the selfie is making the statement “It’s all about me! I post my pics, people like my pics, and I feel a great surge of self-worth and acceptance.”

Folks from every generation—Baby Boomers, Gen X, Y and Z are infected with selfitis. It crosses all lines.

Even as we might shake our heads or snicker at a few goofy pics, I am reminded that this “illness” has been around since the dawn of time.

The term “sin” is not PC and the “enlightened” of our world want to tell us that guilt is bad and there is no such thing as right and wrong. This means there’s no such thing as sin. And in turn, no need for a Savior. 

Selfitis is addressed over and over again in the Bible (which is also not PC), reminding us that anything done from a selfish ambition is sin.

Galatians 5 gives us a list.  The acts of the flesh (or self) are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

No one really wants to look in the mirror, or at the latest posted selfie, and admit any part of the Galatians list applies to them. But we are all guilty, even the “enlightened” of our generation who refuse to take a self-inventory instead of the next selfie.

The great news is God provided the antidote for our sins. He didn’t just nullify them; he made a way to eradicate them. Accepting the gift of salvation through Jesus, we can be free of the sins that would take our souls to hell for eternity. Hell, another subject that is not PC.

The rest of Galatians 5 gives us the description of what is present in the lives of people who “live by the spirit,” in simple terms- live to please Jesus, or those who belong to Jesus. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I’m so glad that God, knowing all things, provided a cure for selfitis. This old world needs to know there’s a better way.

From FaceBook, to Instagram, tumblr. to Pinterest to the pages of real life, we don’t have to live for the next self-serving moment.

We can live by Philippians 2: Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.

Now, that’s worth tweeting!

Where is God When It's Dark: A Page From a Caregivers Journal

There are many things we cannot fully know until we experience it ourselves.

The complete joys and trials of parenthood

Growing old

True contentment

Forgiveness

The love of a faithful friend

Enduring a chronic illness

Caring for a chronically ill person

And the presence of God in the dark

    Many thoughts crowd a heart and mind in the darkness and uncertainty of a hospital room. There are no visitors to say a prayer and wish you well.  The unrelenting wrestling match between what is and what might be or could be or hopefully will be enters round number….what is it? Infinity it seems. Darkness can feel like a safe friend with an evil twin sister.  In the quiet solitude I pray the nurses will not enter and disturb her precious sleep, for even as she groans, at least she is sleeping.

  I am a reluctant traveler, having been thrust down a path I did not choose. I have dug my heels into the mud as a child whose mother has announced, “It is time to leave the park and go home.”  I am here. In the dark. Trying to breathe as I cry out to the Father to please, please bring answers and relief.

  The monitor sounds the alarm for attention as the bag of fluid drips to a close. Funny, how quickly a nurse tends to a screaming monitor.

 I think of how I am screaming inside and asking for attention from The One who surely knows I am feeling empty. I am told over and over and over again that many are praying and yet, it seems nothing is changing. Prayer is such a mystery.

My mind leafs through scripture passages I have used to encourage others. My heart aches as I find myself wondering why they bring me no solace at this moment.

 I am such a fraud. A pastor’s wife who speaks faith to others and yet feels so empty in the dark.

This may be confusing to my friends who do not know Jesus as Savior. People who do not know Jesus tell people who do not know Jesus that if He really loved us we would never suffer pain or confusion or trips through the faith wilderness. They have falsely assumed He is equipped to be the “you-aint-never-had-a-friend-like-me” Genie from Aladdin.

This excerpt might possibly confuse some of my friends who do know Jesus as Savior. There’s another false teaching out there. It’s the assumption all Christians never question, never wonder why, never have moments of desperation.

King David is described as being after God’s own heart. He was God’s chosen man, and yet he despaired and exclaimed “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever.”

The journal entry I have shared is many years old and has been relived many times. One of the wonderful truths about belonging to Jesus is, just like King David, my despair doesn’t change my Savior. The failure of my flesh and my heart does not challenge the victory of the battle over my soul.

Every hardship of life is worth the trip when we determine in our hearts to trust The One who knows everything. If we refuse to take a detour when we find ourselves on the unpaved path, we will find The Lord will also be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.

When I turn my full focus to what is and not on God as my deliverer, I feel empty in the dark.

When I turn my eyes on my Savior and choose to trust Him even when I don’t understand, His peace-bearing presence is just as real as the clicking of the IV monitor. Am I a fraud? Oh no, I am just a sometimes-confused striver.

God’s presence in the dark has quieted my panic when my son was serving in Afghanistan.

His presence in the dark has whispered rest for my weary body when worry tries to push in.

God’s presence in the dark has applied healing balm to my pain when I give up my need to understand and choose to trust Him because He is The God of Nevertheless.  

With His presence comes the fulfillment of the promise found in Psalm 31, Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

So, to my friends that have never believed in Jesus as Savior—my prayer is that one day very soon you will choose Him over your own way and know what I have described.

To my friends who know Jesus as Savior—do not listen to the enemy who would have you believe God has left you alone in the dark.

He is there. He will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; when He shall hear it, He will answer thee. Isaiah 30:19