Today is the Day

When Tommy and I married I thought he was the most handsome man I knew. He loved God and was determined to follow His lead no matter the cost. He was strong, full of character, kind, and smart. I knew him well enough to know I would be with him the rest of my life. Looking back over the journey of nearly 34 years, I realize I hardly knew him when we began our lives together.

   I asked Jesus to be my Savior when I was 15. I had begun to learn who He is many years earlier. I remember walking through Minnesota woods and looking up at the beautiful Minnesota sky and thinking there must be someone out there who made all this. I knew that there was a God who must love us very much. I experienced His love through the people who taught me in Vacation Bible School and the weekly religion day our school provided. I remember asking my mom questions about God. I learned that He loved me and He carried the whole world in His hands. I learned through Bible stories that He is compassionate and patient, mighty and strong.

   I have learned a lot over the years. I have experienced that each trial, great or small, is allowed so I can grow. I know that the Scripture is true; He is faithful to continue the work He began in me. I can trust him because I know Him.

   God has given each of us the gift and the marching orders to know Him and to be the one to help others know Him. We have the freedom to choose what we invest our time in. As a pastor’s wife and children’s ministry director, I get to spend every day investing in others. Sometimes I get frustrated when folks don’t seem to “get” the importance of what goes on in the classrooms with the kids. If you were to stand outside a room and listen, it would sound like a lot of fun, and fun it is! We try to deliver every Bible truth we teach in fun, but we know it is life and death serious business. As we commit ourselves to this end, we need parents and families whose commitment surpasses ours.

 If I could communicate one thing to parents it would be the importance of being the ones to disciple their own kids. I would ask parents to commit Deuteronomy 6 to their memories. Parents should purposefully weigh every activity they lead their kids to be a part of against Deuteronomy 6 and if that activity doesn’t measure up to have the guts to say no. Because you see, if you don’t know Him, it doesn’t matter how talented you are, how much stuff you have, how well you play ball or how many friends you have. The Bible says if you don’t know Him, the rest is worthless.

    Dad, mom, it’s never too late to start down the path that leads your kids to knowing God. It isn’t an easy path, but God is the promise keeper who has told us that when we obey Him, He will walk with us and be our God and we will be His people.  Search for a church that preaches and teaches the truth and you will find a support system in place that will not judge your shortcomings but will be glad to help you along the way. Today is the day.

   After many adventures in ministry, parenthood and life, I now know Tommy well. I do not take for granted the fact that he is still the most handsome man I know, strong, full of character, kind, and smart. I am still enamored in knowing he will follow God’s lead no matter the cost. He has clean hands and a pure heart. His children and I can tell you we trust him because we know him.

    It is my heart’s desire for EVERY child to be able to say I TRUST GOD BECAUSE I KNOW HIM.

 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes.” Jeremiah 17:7-8.

I Trust Him because I Know Him.

Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big or Baby Got Back

Okay ladies…can we talk?

It begins around the age of 13 or 14 when we first ask the question, “Do these jeans make my butt look big?” We get a little older and buy 17 magazine so we can see how the beautiful people live. Remember trying to find the lip gloss you read about and believing the promise that Stridex would give you a clear complexion? And so, without really realizing it, we step on the treadmill of self worth.

The Lie? Your size and appearance determine your worth.

A few years later, after we marry prince charming, we get a hold of Good Housekeeping or Southern Living magazine and begin to take a look at our homes. The perfect patterned pillows must be found that will match the sofa and paint must be the ideal shade of whatever-is-hot-at-the-time. You’re feeling pretty good about your interior decorating skills until you turn on HGTV and you crash and burn…kick the treadmill up a notch!

The lie? When your house is clean and the hand towels match the pot holders, it proves that you love your family and it makes you a really good wife.

When the children come along, you read the best parenting blogs and watch Chip Ingram DVD’s and you are determined that your children will be the brightest in preschool, their socks will always match their shirt and they will never pitch a honkin’ big fit in Walmart and they will always share with siblings and eat all their veggies….kick it up another notch!

 The lie? “When your children are really smart and well behaved, it proves that you are a good mom. You’re value is high when your children are the best in everything!”

You see, when these things are achieved, we feel good about ourselves. A slim figure, the cleanest home, children that can say the alphabet backwards before they are potty trained!

“Look at me, I’m in control of my body, I’m in control of my home and, YES! I’m in control of my children!”

Sounds good but reality is…

You eat right, excersize and begin to get close to that illusive size 8 and then, you wake up one morning and you look at yourself in the mirror and you say, “My nose is really big! And my hands look old!”

Your house is clean, you are wearing makeup, there are warm cookies on the counter and a breeze is blowing through the open windows and no one drops by! 2 days later, it’s almost noon and there’s laundry on the couch, supper dishes from the night before in the sink, the family room resembles Toy R Us, you are wearing sweats…it’s a scary sight and there’s a knock at the door. You look up to see Rugrat 1 has opened the door and Rugrat 2 has learned to remove her own diaper and is doing the nakey dance!

This treadmill is getting tiresome!

I’m sure I am the only Mom, upon picking up a preschool child, to see a little sad face report, only to hear that today the child bit the teacher in the leg, dumped Jell-O on another kid and told the entire class at story time that.

Somebody just kicked it up another notch!

There are many places we find our self worth. Body image, home, children. How about career--doing what you are good at and being really good at what you do? Maybe community projects like the Jr. Women’s Club or volunteering at a soup kitchen.

You know, all these things are good and have their place. The problem comes when they are the fuel that keeps you going. It’s kinda like filling a cup that has a slow leak. You’ll never be content, you’ll never feel full. You will continue on the treadmill at increasing speeds.

 I’m here to deliver the message that your worth has nothing to do with your size, your ability to match paint samples or that your children would never run in the halls!

It begins in the beginning…Genesis 1:26 “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our own image, according to our likeness.’ God created you in His image. Now, does God have 10 fingers and 10 toes? Does He have hair and does He have legs? “In His image” is not a physical thing, it is a spiritual thing. You were created with the ability to commune with God, have a relationship with Him. You were created with the ability to love.

When God created us, He knew there would be problems, He knew we would choose to do things our own way. Ephesians 1:4….

Long before he laid down earths foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us the focus of His love, to be made whole and holy by His love. Long, long ago He decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure He took in this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved son.

Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, His blood poured out on the alter of the Cross, we’re a perfect people—free from penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on all the plans He took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

Its  in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone.

Oh, did you get that? God had his eye on YOU before you ever heard of him. Jesus died on the cross so that YOU would have meaning and purpose in life, so that YOU would have a relationship with him!  He had designs on YOU for glorious living!

 In Christ we find out who we are and what we are living for!

When you give your entire being to Jesus, you step off the treadmill. You find that he said Come to me those who are weary. He said he will give you rest. He said nothing- death nor life, present nor future nor any other created thing (love handles, a messy house, a sassy child) can ever separate us from His love!!

When our children were very young, my husband would say,

 “Do you know how much I love you?”

“No, Daddy”

“I love you more than the whole world! Do you know why I love you?”

 “No, Daddy”

“Because God gave you to me!”

 Very soon, he would ask, “Do you know how much I love you?”

 “More than the whole world!”

“Do you know why I love you?”

 “Because God gave me to you!”

God’s love is even greater than that! He loves you deeply whether you are his child or not. If you are not, he’s waiting for you to just get off life’s treadmill and step into his rest.

 Have you ever watched your child struggle to put a puzzle together, trying to force the pieces where they do not belong? You say, “Here, let me help you” and oh my goodness! They throw a fit because they want to do it themselves! That’s what we do. We try to get all the pieces to fit, we push and we force and we know it’s not working.  God says’ just turn to me, I made the puzzle, I know where all the pieces go!

Long before he laid down earths foundations, He had us in mind…

The Junk Drawer of Life: I am the Samaritan Woman

Growing up we had a junk drawer in the kitchen. Much to my husband’s dismay, I have continued the tradition.

The junk drawer is full of trinkets and what-nots that I am not yet ready to throw away but there is no other spot in the house in which they could belong. If you glanced over the contents you might pick up a certain piece and wonder why it’s still there. Mixed in among the stuff that I could toss are things that bring a flood of memories. Truth is, you don’t know the back story of sweet pudgy little boy hands that played for hours with that matchbox car or the little girl that needed help putting that shoe on her baby doll. It might look like trash to you, but to me, it is treasure.

Jesus and His disciples were traveling from Judea to Galilee. The Bible states that they had to travel through Samaria. Samaria was the “junk drawer” of the day. Jews would travel the long way around to keep from sharing air space with a Samaritan.

Jesus was exhausted. He sat at Jacob’s well and sent his disciples to buy food. A woman arrived to draw water from the well. Jesus asked for a drink.

Please understand, Samaria was the junk drawer, Samaritan women were unworthy of even taking up space in the junk drawer.

And yet Jesus spoke to her. He asked her for a drink of water.

She was taken aback at first. Men didn’t speak in public to women and most certainly Jews did not speak to Samaritan women.

Basically Jesus told her, “If you knew God…if you knew His gift to you…if you knew who just asked you for a drink of water, you would ask Him and He would give you living water.”

She didn’t understand what He meant by living water.

They continued to converse and Jesus revealed that He knew her and everything about her. He knew her past failures and her present condition. He knew her struggles and her pain. Her knew her guilt and her shame.

And yet Jesus spoke to her.

Imagine with me if you will, a tired woman coming late in the evening...alone…to the well to draw water. She was not only living in the junk drawer, her choices in life had made her an outcast among her own people.

Looking in the distance, she sees there is a man at the well and wonders to herself if he will ridicule her.

Should I turn away and come back later? I cannot, for it is late and I need water.

Maybe she stiffens her back, with a rebellious attitude brought on by her life’s choices, and walks with purpose: He will have to move, I have work to do.

Perhaps she takes a deep breath and moves forward determined: I have done the best I can with my life and this man has no right to judge me.

I see her as lonely and weary: You can do this. Just don’t look at him. Get the water and get back home to the safety of a closed door.

And then He spoke to her.

The story is beautiful as Jesus’ love for her flows freely and He tells her about Living Water. She is thirsty, not from the journey to the well that warm evening. She is thirsty because she has tried to quench her parched life with what seemed right at the time. Husband after husband after husband after husband after husband…

We thirst because we fill our lives with what seems right…

I will be a good person and I will feel good about myself.

I will buy pretty things and surround myself with the security of stuff.

I will eat whatever I please because food tastes good and it makes me happy.

I will please the people around me, because if people are happy with me I am doing something right.

Life has dealt me a raw hand I am going to get what’s mine.

I will believe whatever comforts me today. A moment of peace is better than no peace at all.

As Jesus spoke, her fractured heart began to heal. He offered her living water- healing and peace that is never-ending. Perfect love and acceptance. Forgiveness without a hitch.

I see the tired lines on her old-too-early face begin to soften as she realizes she is in the presence of the Messiah.  Her shoulders, once heavy with the weight of her sins, are slowly rising with relief as Jesus lovingly removes each burden she carried.

She arrived at the well in a hopeless mess of her own doing. She left the well a new woman.

She ran back to Samaria and told the men there about her divine appointment. She said “Come see! Come see! He told me everything I ever did!”

The recounting of what happened that day ends with the men of Samaria saying “We no longer believe because of what you said, for we have heard for ourselves  and know that this really is the Savior of the world.”

Jesus stayed for two days before going on to Galilee.

I hope I never forget I am the Samaritan woman.

I hope I never fail to look at all people around me as a treasure.

Jesus came to give you living water.

He truly is the Savior of the world!

Dying for a Selfie

March, 2014—an online article surfaced that announced the American Psychiatric Society had declared taking selfies was a mental disorder called Selfitis. The article even gave 3 levels of illness:

• Borderline selfitis : taking photos of one’s self at least three times a day but not posting them on social media
• Acute selfitis: taking photos of one’s self at least three times a day and posting each of the photos on social media
• Chronic selfitis: Uncontrollable urge to take photos of one’s self  round the clock and posting the photos on social media more than six times a day

We all know folks who might fall into each of these categories.  You know, scrolling through your FaceBook newsfeed, mixed in among the “what I had for lunch” and “I’m so mad at my family” rants we all get to see the most famous selfie.

We might need to start a foundation for those caught in the selfie fray, or maybe have a color run to get the word out. We could design posters: Stop Selfitis Now! It Begins With You and place them in school halls and break rooms all across America.

We could do these things if the story was accurate, but alas, it’s bogus.

What is a fact is people are actually dying as they push the boundaries to get the most daring selfie.  Selfies such as posing with a lion…that’s right, a real, in the wild lion. How about dangling off a bridge or pulling the pin from a hand grenade?

Yellowstone Park has issued warnings about selfies with Bison after 5 separate selfitis sufferers were gored because they were a bit too close.

A San Diego man earned himself a $153,000 hospital bill after getting a snakebite selfie.

India has actually implemented a “No Selfie Zone” at one of their festivals for fear of the snap-takers causing a stampede.

On the upside, Australia is capitalizing on the selfie trend by installing GigaSelfie Platforms at some of their amazing tourist sites.

Whether authorities are encouraging safe selfies or banning them, they agree that the selfie is making the statement “It’s all about me! I post my pics, people like my pics, and I feel a great surge of self-worth and acceptance.”

Folks from every generation—Baby Boomers, Gen X, Y and Z are infected with selfitis. It crosses all lines.

Even as we might shake our heads or snicker at a few goofy pics, I am reminded that this “illness” has been around since the dawn of time.

The term “sin” is not PC and the “enlightened” of our world want to tell us that guilt is bad and there is no such thing as right and wrong. This means there’s no such thing as sin. And in turn, no need for a Savior. 

Selfitis is addressed over and over again in the Bible (which is also not PC), reminding us that anything done from a selfish ambition is sin.

Galatians 5 gives us a list.  The acts of the flesh (or self) are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

No one really wants to look in the mirror, or at the latest posted selfie, and admit any part of the Galatians list applies to them. But we are all guilty, even the “enlightened” of our generation who refuse to take a self-inventory instead of the next selfie.

The great news is God provided the antidote for our sins. He didn’t just nullify them; he made a way to eradicate them. Accepting the gift of salvation through Jesus, we can be free of the sins that would take our souls to hell for eternity. Hell, another subject that is not PC.

The rest of Galatians 5 gives us the description of what is present in the lives of people who “live by the spirit,” in simple terms- live to please Jesus, or those who belong to Jesus. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

I’m so glad that God, knowing all things, provided a cure for selfitis. This old world needs to know there’s a better way.

From FaceBook, to Instagram, tumblr. to Pinterest to the pages of real life, we don’t have to live for the next self-serving moment.

We can live by Philippians 2: Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.

Now, that’s worth tweeting!

Where is God When It's Dark: A Page From a Caregivers Journal

There are many things we cannot fully know until we experience it ourselves.

The complete joys and trials of parenthood

Growing old

True contentment

Forgiveness

The love of a faithful friend

Enduring a chronic illness

Caring for a chronically ill person

And the presence of God in the dark

    Many thoughts crowd a heart and mind in the darkness and uncertainty of a hospital room. There are no visitors to say a prayer and wish you well.  The unrelenting wrestling match between what is and what might be or could be or hopefully will be enters round number….what is it? Infinity it seems. Darkness can feel like a safe friend with an evil twin sister.  In the quiet solitude I pray the nurses will not enter and disturb her precious sleep, for even as she groans, at least she is sleeping.

  I am a reluctant traveler, having been thrust down a path I did not choose. I have dug my heels into the mud as a child whose mother has announced, “It is time to leave the park and go home.”  I am here. In the dark. Trying to breathe as I cry out to the Father to please, please bring answers and relief.

  The monitor sounds the alarm for attention as the bag of fluid drips to a close. Funny, how quickly a nurse tends to a screaming monitor.

 I think of how I am screaming inside and asking for attention from The One who surely knows I am feeling empty. I am told over and over and over again that many are praying and yet, it seems nothing is changing. Prayer is such a mystery.

My mind leafs through scripture passages I have used to encourage others. My heart aches as I find myself wondering why they bring me no solace at this moment.

 I am such a fraud. A pastor’s wife who speaks faith to others and yet feels so empty in the dark.

This may be confusing to my friends who do not know Jesus as Savior. People who do not know Jesus tell people who do not know Jesus that if He really loved us we would never suffer pain or confusion or trips through the faith wilderness. They have falsely assumed He is equipped to be the “you-aint-never-had-a-friend-like-me” Genie from Aladdin.

This excerpt might possibly confuse some of my friends who do know Jesus as Savior. There’s another false teaching out there. It’s the assumption all Christians never question, never wonder why, never have moments of desperation.

King David is described as being after God’s own heart. He was God’s chosen man, and yet he despaired and exclaimed “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever.”

The journal entry I have shared is many years old and has been relived many times. One of the wonderful truths about belonging to Jesus is, just like King David, my despair doesn’t change my Savior. The failure of my flesh and my heart does not challenge the victory of the battle over my soul.

Every hardship of life is worth the trip when we determine in our hearts to trust The One who knows everything. If we refuse to take a detour when we find ourselves on the unpaved path, we will find The Lord will also be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.

When I turn my full focus to what is and not on God as my deliverer, I feel empty in the dark.

When I turn my eyes on my Savior and choose to trust Him even when I don’t understand, His peace-bearing presence is just as real as the clicking of the IV monitor. Am I a fraud? Oh no, I am just a sometimes-confused striver.

God’s presence in the dark has quieted my panic when my son was serving in Afghanistan.

His presence in the dark has whispered rest for my weary body when worry tries to push in.

God’s presence in the dark has applied healing balm to my pain when I give up my need to understand and choose to trust Him because He is The God of Nevertheless.  

With His presence comes the fulfillment of the promise found in Psalm 31, Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the Lord.

So, to my friends that have never believed in Jesus as Savior—my prayer is that one day very soon you will choose Him over your own way and know what I have described.

To my friends who know Jesus as Savior—do not listen to the enemy who would have you believe God has left you alone in the dark.

He is there. He will be very gracious unto thee at the voice of thy cry; when He shall hear it, He will answer thee. Isaiah 30:19