Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Vulnerability and God

I finally did it.

I finally have a website.

And it's scary.

God is so very good to me. Through Elk Lake Publishing Inc, He has placed books on shelves. He has placed books in the hands of kids.

The Crumberry Chronicles.

Jase Freeman.

Steve, Haley, Danny, Deirdre, Mr. Tims, and Coach K.

And don't forget Lecty. Kids love Lecty.

And in a few short weeks, a new book will be on shelves. And in hands. But this time, in the hands of women in ministry. The first ladies of the church. 

The pastor's wife.

Sweet Moments was difficult to write. I pray God will bless the work and bless the women who will read it.

Turning in the manuscript made me feel vulnerable. And for those of us who draw fire as a result of who we are married to ... well, vulnerablility is a scary thing. 

God has been faithful in almost four decades of ministry life. And because I know I can trust God, it doesn't matter what people might have to say or the ways some might try to hurt me. And I want the women who weep over thier husbands and families to know--God is faithful. I want the women who serve in every imaginable role in chuches all over the world to know--God loves you. I want women who are lonely for the sake of the gospel to know--God will meet your need, trust him.

I am so blessed to be able to serve God in this unique way. To love the Bride of Christ. To learn more about Jesus as I grow in both private and very public ways.

I am learning to love without lines. I'm learning to forgive and be forgiven. I'm learning  to breathe.

And I am thankful for you. My friends who read these words and overlook my comma-handicap and spelling fauz pas. 

You and I ... we are a lot alike. The journey doesn't end until God speaks the words and takes us home.

Until then, let's keep going. Don't quit. No retreat. 

God is never vulnerable.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

The Lines Upon My Face

I used to fight aging. Okay, I will always fight the signs of aging.

I look in the mirror and wonder where the young woman I once knew went.

I buy cremes and potions and examine the skin under my eyes ... I've considered buying crepe erase. (Ladies, don't you absolutely HATE the word crepe????)

Here lately, I've been rethinking this whole "getting old" thing. And I am beginning to embrace the positives of being fifty-something.

A few weeks ago, as one of my granddaughters played at the kitchen counter with her teapot, my daughter-in-law and soon to be daughter-in-law looked on with trepidation.

As water flowed freely over the sides of the small teacups, I tasted Lilley K's tea and told her it was delicious. I handed her a few paper towels to sop up the extra "tea."

The girls wondered why the "tea" mess didn't bother me.

Here's a positive of where I am today--I've lived through the real stuff that spills over the edges of my heart ... the messes that can't be cleaned up with a paper towel. With God's grace, I survived and gained a few lines on my face.

There are years of happiness carefully stored in my memory. I take them out from time to time and page through them. They are like vitamins for my soul. Special moments with Tommy, the joy of our babies, the pride in military graduations, peace that comes from seeing our kids grow into wonderful and kind adults, and the crown of grandchildren. Counting and recounting God's faithfulness in plenty and in need ... these are some of the lines upon my face.

Through weight gain and weight loss, grey hair and red hair (and lots of colors in between), the uncertainty of the future and the certainty of God's hand at work, and all that I have learned and have yet to learn ... well, these are the lines upon my face.

So, whether they are laugh lines or crows feet or worry lines etched across my forehead as I give my heartaches to God again and again ... whether they appear overnight or I watch them slowly grow over time ... they are beautiful. Beautiful because they tell a story only God and I know.

These lines. I hope I live long enough to multiply them. I hope most are marks of laughter and smiles.

Even so, my vanity will try to slow them down. So if you'll excuse me, it's time to wash off this mud mask. Surely there's a thirty-something face underneath it ...

Friday, August 31, 2018

And Then There Were Two!

Often times, dreams take the long road. 

We experience life while on the long road. Trials and joys, failures and successes.

People walk out of our lives and true friendships grow stronger.


And the long road.

God is present on the long road.

He teaches his child valuable lessons along the way.







The long road, with its bumps and turns and unexpected delays, is a daily reminder of God;'s faithfulness.

September, 2018. 

Book two.

Dream fulfilled.

Thank you, Jesus!

Battles Buddies, book 2 in The Crumberry Chronicles, is here

God is the giver of dreams. And God is the one who makes them reality!

Monday, August 6, 2018

Middle School, Friends, and Locker Woes

Many things change.

Many stay the same.

Middle school kids, especially those in 6th grade, still sweat over remembering where their classes are and one searing question keeps them awake at night:

"Will I be able to open my locker?"

Can you remember the worries you had the night before the first day of middle school (or Junior High, depending on your age)? 

Will I fit in?
Who will I eat with at lunch?
Will I have any friends in my classes?
Are my clothes good enough?

Emotions can get a guy in trouble in middle school ... if he can't control himself when he's angry ...

  Jase couldn’t see or hear clearly. The kids in the hall were a blur of faces and backpacks. None of the voices were familiar. They were just a mix of sounds that didn’t matter. He didn’t recognize anyone, and he didn’t care. Rounding the corner, he ran smack into Ashley.
  "Watch where you’re going, Ashley! Get out of my way!” 
  She stared, wide-eyed at the boy that looked like Jase Freeman but certainly didn’t act like him.
  Without apology, he stepped around her.
  All of these stupid kids. They think life is hard. They have no clue.
  He pushed his way into class. He grabbed his chair and slung it away from the desk. He sat but not still. He wanted to crawl out of his own skin. He felt his heart beating behind his eyes—boom, boom-boom, boom, boom-boom!

   Jase Freeman, from The Wish I Wished Last Night, has another story worth your time. Battle Buddies, book 2 in The Crumberry Chronicles series, will release September 4th. 

I think you should read both books before giving them to your kids to read. You should always know what your kids are putting into their impressionable brains. Words, spoken, sung, and written are powerful.

Jase Freeman knows what trouble comes around when a middle school kid doesn't control his anger.

Wouldn't you like to find out, too?

The Wish I Wished Last Night, available now. Look for Battle Buddies September 4th, 2018! 

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Home is in My Heart

The kitchen was very much the same.

Her chair remained in its place, cozy blanket draped over the back.

Her purse sat in a corner. Her personal favorite style shoes--slip on flats--were nearby.

And it felt like she would come walking down the hall at any moment and tell us to get out of her kitchen.

If you've experienced this kind of empty familiarity, you understand the adjustment that follows. The one that steals your breath and burns your throat. The one that makes you want to scream but instead you close your eyes in silence. You don't want to cry, yet you wish you could cry it all out and be done.

Once I adjusted, her kitchen felt like an old friend.

I touched the things she loved, the stuff of life that we surround ourselves with. Pictures, books, earrings, nail polish, and a hymnal. I scratched her fur-baby,  "Molly, Molly," behind the ears and told her I knew it was hard.

Those of us who gathered there talked and laughed and worked.

And we accepted the fact that she would not ever walk down the hall again.

And as we reminisced, we reminded each other of her perfect existence with Jesus. The Hope of all who believe.

All the scriptures she read and the questions she asked about heaven are no longer mysteries. And if she could, she would not choose to walk this broken earth again.

She would say, "I'll see you when you get here!"

To all who loved her and all who never had the gift in life to know her--

I hope you know HIM. Jesus the Christ, the Savior of the world. The One who said "Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me..."

Believe and know, God is real.

People are born. People live. And people die.

And God made a way for us to know perfect peace and joy even as we long to be with those we love.

There is no longer an earthy home to "go home" to. That's okay. Buried in my heart are the memories of fudge and crocheted slippers, laughter and Judge Judy, bird feeders and fairy gardens.

Home is in my heart.

Thank you, Jesus, for saving my soul!

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Generation After Generation

I remember Joey. Cutest four-year-old little boy I had ever met. Curly locks and heart-melting smile.

Someone trusted my friend and me to teach Vacation Bible School.

We were young teens.

We loved Jesus.

We loved children.

And we taught them.

I remember being third trimester pregnant, twice, teaching 5th and 6th graders Vacation Bible School. I had cankles … and you know what cankles are …

I remember the first time I stood back and watched a couple of teens teaching Vacation Bible School … teens I had the privilege of  leading as children … teens our church family poured into and trusted to serve.

What joy it is to see Bible teaching come full circle!

I remember my children enjoying Vacation Bible School as attenders and growing up within  the church family to lead others.

And as I look around my disaster of an office, I am overwhelmed with gratitude that the Lord God would allow me and others the honor and privilege of being a part of this amazing ministry called Vacation Bible School.

God works through this ministry because it belongs to Him.

He works and touches generation after generation.

Lives change.

Friendships begin.

The heart of servanthood bursts into full bloom.

God has put together an amazing team for our VBS next week. Won't you please pray for us? Pray for God's presence and will and pleasure.

I think of Joey and wonder … perhaps he's somewhere teaching 4-year-old children about God's love. Or maybe preteens … or teens …

Teaching children makes a difference.

And my prayer is that God will light a fire in the hearts of His people to choose to teach children.

Because lives change.

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

The Right is Not the Enemy and Neither is the Left

I know there are others out there who are super-tired of what we hear and read when we try to get caught up on the news.

It's frustrating.

Here's my personal opinion on it all.

When it comes down to what matters most, all the bickering doesn't matter.

The Right is not the Enemy.

The Left is not the Enemy.

And the Enemy doesn't care if we are prolife or prochoice.

The Enemy doesn't care if we are #MAGA or #Impeach45.

The Enemy has no horse in the race of liberal or conservative.

You know what? The Enemy doesn't really care whether you go to church or the barroom. You can stay home and become the next episode of Hoarders or travel the world, for all the Enemy cares.

And we can fight or make peace and it won't matter an ounce to the Enemy.

As long as we are not asking Jesus to be Lord of our lives or telling others about the gift of eternal life … the Enemy is quite content to be a spectator of our destruction.

For me, it comes down to the fact the Enemy doesn't care if we feed the children or save the children or shoe the children as long as we don't TELL the children …

And for me, I take the Great Commission personally and apply it to the next generation.

And you should know how I pray. I do pray for  my country. I love America. And I pray for the children. And I pray for families and churches and my president and friends who are hurting.

My prayer is for you. That first you will know God's redeeming love. And once you do, my prayer is you will TELL the children. Teach the children. Befriend the children. Be a mentor to the children.

Don't wait until you feel ready or knowledgeable enough or your life settles down enough …

Don't give the Enemy credit for all that's wrong with America and the rest of the world.

Do something the Enemy hates. TELL the children and make a difference.

#Childrensministries #VacationBibleSchool

Do it.