Raging Storms, Harsh Voices, and Kindness

It had been one of those days attached to one of those weeks. Our daughter had been in the hospital... again... and I found myself once more standing in line at the pharmacy.

I was so tired from several difficult and very dark nights in a row. My heart was heavy for our then young teen daughter who was fighting battles that only God could win. 

I stepped up to the counter and gave the young woman at the register the needed information. She gathered the scripts and began to tell me that one had expired and would I like for them to contact the doctor. I knew he had called this med in and asked her to please check again.

It was then that an unknown voice from a man farther back in line shouted, "Hey lady, you can visit on your own time!"

Without a glimpse of a thought I spun around, in a loud voice of my own...okay, honestly I yelled at him...and I let the man know how rude he was and that the rest of us were all in line for the same reasons.

I paid for the medications and at this point I was weeping, not tearing up or even just crying, I was weeping.  I went to my car and sat there stunned at my own behavior and hurting so deeply at the same time.

I don't understand this, Lord. I don't know why...and I hate every minute of it. I'm trying to trust you. Forgive me for the way I just acted...

There was a knock on my window and, to my shame, it was the pharmacist. I expected him to ask me not to come back. I rolled the window down and began apologizing all over myself, "I'm so sorry, I don't know where that came from, please know that is not who I am..."

Instead,  he most compassionately said, "Mrs. Pierce, you are fine. That man was out of line. He is rude to our employees every time he comes in. I'm sorry this happened to you. The other medication you need will be ready this afternoon."

That was years ago. I've never had the opportunity to apologize to that man. I have thought and wondered what he carried that made him an angry soul.

Maybe he was caring for a wife with aggressive cancer or Alzheimer's.

Perhaps he was behind on his bills because of the high cost of the medication he was there to pick up.

Could he have been fighting his own battle of pain and the unknown?

Was he a believer, caught up in his own  "Where are you God" journey...or  conceivably a lost soul fighting this war alone?

One of my friends at work lives by the saying "Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a battle you know nothing about."

There are some around us fighting many battles.

C.S. Lewis, who knew much sorrow in life, wrote on the subject on happiness and contentment on earth: "The security we crave would teach us to rest our hearts in this world and oppose and obstacle to our return to God: a few happy moments of happy love, a landscape, a symphony, a merry meeting with friends, a bath or a football match, have no such tendency.  Our Father refreshes us on the journey with some pleasant inns, but will not encourage us to mistake them for home."

Acts 27  recounts for us the harrowing trip Paul took as a prisoner on a ship caught up in a northeaster. Read and take heart:

 For many days neither sun nor stars appeared, and the severe storm kept raging. Finally all hope that we would be saved was disappearing.  Since many were going without food, Paul stood up among them and said, “You men should have followed my advice not to sail from Crete and sustain this damage and loss.  Now I urge you to take courage, because there will be no loss of any of your lives, but only of the ship. For this night an angel of the God I belong to and serve stood by me, and said, ‘Don’t be afraid, Paul. You must stand before Caesar. And, look! God has graciously given you all those who are sailing with you.’ Therefore, take courage, men, because I believe God that it will be just the way it was told to me.  However, we must run aground on a certain island.”

What does that mean to you and me today? It means we will face incredibly scary and difficult days. Notice the severe storm raged while there was complete darkness. I know some of you can relate because in the deep of the night,  you feel the crashing waves of doubt and fear. I have been there, waking in the night to find I cannot breathe because terror has grabbed me and anxiety begins to rise.

 The encouraging news is God has not changed since that day thousands of years ago when He sent an angel to stand near and deliver the message to fear not because God was in control even as the storm raged on.

Paul believed God and we can too.

I'm praying for myself and for you. That you will know God's peace in the raging, dark storm. That we will all remember we are just passing through.

Praying we can all be kind to one another as we stand in long lines, remembering we are all in a battle.

 I wish I could turn back the years and respond to that man with kindness. It is an opportunity lost but, I certainly hope, a lesson learned.

 

When You Can't Sing

The notes to "It Is Well With My Soul" hung in the air and I stood with the rest of the people and began to sing.

That's what you do when you're in church and everyone around you is singing.

You sing.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll...

Such a beautiful song

Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say. It is well, it is well with my soul.

 But Lord...

 it is not well.

It is well with my soul. It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is not well, Lord. And I don't think it can ever be well again.

I quit singing. I stood there, trying to quiet my thoughts and focus on the power, might and love on the The One for whom the song was written. I listened to the people around me as they sang. I briefly wondered if anyone was looking over at me...the preacher's wife who should be singing.  

I did not sing another word that day. Instead, I quietly told God how afraid...no, desperate I was. I recalled to Him all that had happened and I reminded Him that I was small up against this mountain.

As I begged Him to miraculously fix what was broken, I remembered the clichés I had heard over the years:

"The God of the mountain is still God in the valley"

"If God brought you to it He will bring you through it"

 "Don't tell God how big the storm is, tell the storm how big your God is"

And I held to scripture passages that over the years had become by best friends.

John 14

Psalm 119

Matthew 6

I just don't feel it, Lord. You have the power, please just fix this. Just fix it. Then it will be well.

But you know, months turned into years before God's work--that was taking place all along--became evident. Oh, there were moments when I thought I saw a glimpse of sunrise. And there were days when I knew the sun had to be shining just above the angry clouds. God Himself was the only One who knew my thoughts and the tossing and turning going on in my distressed heart.

Satan tried to tell me I was alone in the fight, that no person understood or cared. He tried to tell me God was off somewhere else in the universe, working in the lives of others...you know, the ones who deserved His care.

I knew it then and I know it today. God was always, always holding me. I may have struggled in His embrace as I tried to understand or change reality, but my battling didn't change His grip on my soul.

The strength of my faith doesn't change the power of my God.

Is it you?

Are you the one?

 Are you the one this little blog is for?

Could you be that person who has no name and yet you are heavy on my heart?  

It is in the most difficult of days that we learn the most about God.

God is not

superman,

a good luck charm,

a deep-pocket grandfather,

or multiple-choice buffet.

God is

holy,

all knowing,

loving, patient, kind and just.

GOD IS FAITHFUL.

He is always working in the lives of His kids.

It is on the longest and darkest of paths, that we would never choose to walk, that God's character is revealed.

Perhaps you're tired of hurting.

Maybe, today, you can't see the possibility of a ray of light.

The strength of your faith doesn't change the power of God.

Keep asking.

Keep searching.

Keep knocking.

For in Jesus' own words "The one who asks receives, the one who seeks finds, to the one who knocks the door will be opened.

There's a verse in the song we skip over. Sing it with me:  

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait, The sky, not the grave, is our goal; Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord! Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

Legacy

    The assaulting sound of a blaring alarm broke through the quiet. She awoke with a jerk but remained still. She looked around at the comforts surrounding her. Ruffled curtains that matched the bedspread, a warm robe to softly wrap herself up in, and the perfume in the air of fresh coffee as her automatic maker was set to begin brewing just minutes before the alarm sounded.

   She stretched as she walked toward the kitchen, remembering being wrapped in love by her mommas blanket and the sweet taste of oatmeal served up by beautiful hands.

   The kids were already awake, settled in front of the television. "Turn it down! And move back, you're way too close to the TV. You're going to ruin your eyes, ya know!"

   She stopped at the large window at the breakfast nook and gazed out at the artistry of spring. Bright yellow daffodils lined the drive, the grass was a brilliant green, and the sound of birds announcing God's glory seemed to take up every inch of sunshine.

   Gazing at her home -- her perfect, southern-living home-- filled her mind with countless reasons to say thank you. God had been so good. Having been loved as a little girl should be loved carved a trail in her heart. She knew how to love. Looking over her shoulder at the kids intently watching cartoons, she felt rich, so very rich.

    Today would be filled with video games and hair bows, dandelion chains and driveway basketball. The sound of little hands touching black and white keys will fill the house with the elementary sounds of workbook three.

   She reached for her favorite coffee cup, delicately adorned by pansies and miniature roses. The sight of her hand startled her. She placed the cup near the coffee pot and touched her wedding band. She closed her eyes and turned the band around and around.

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever! Psalm 107:1

Her Hands

             The wind was brisk as she hurried to the shed. Her boots crunched in the snow and her toes screamed in protest to the missing lining. She wrapped her thin scarf around her face, covering her nose. Maybe this would keep the sub-zero temperature from burning in her throat and nostrils.

 Rushing around the corner, the shed shielded her from the angry gust that seemed to utter "not to worry, I will be here when you return!"

She grasped the handle and pulled as if her life depended on getting that old door to relent. Perhaps her life did depend on it. Hers and her sweet, young children waiting in the rented house a few yards away. They would wake soon.

 She stood still for a moment, allowing her eyes to adjust to the darkness. The shed smelled of old grass and gasoline. It smelled like love to her. She inhaled and sensed the arms of her daddy holding her close.

 The wind whistled her back to reality. She reached down and began piling wood in her outstretched arm. Soon she would have a happy, cozy fire singing as it snapped and danced a show of white, yellow, and orange flames. Just the thought warmed her soul.

            She took one more deep breath of comfort before heading toward the house. Glancing east she was overwhelmed by the wonder of the sun, peaking up over the horizon like a gigantic, beautifully shy flower. Only God could create such splendor in the dead of winter.

          The light above the door beckoned her to hurry, promising the refuge of home. She knew it was borrowed along with almost everything inside. Yet it was truly home. The screen door softly whispered the message of spring, assuring one day fragrant breezes would blow through its tiny, square windows.

           Moments later a fire sent its invisible arms rolling outward like an octopus reaching for company. She poured oatmeal into boiling water. Soon her children would be warmed inside and out.

           She heard the scuffing of little slippered feet moving down the hall. She turned to see sweet faces wrapped in hair askew, little pink cheeks wearing good morning smiles  and eyes that sparkled with the happiness of a new day. 

          "Good morning, Sunshine!" Momma smiled.

           This is home. Little ones gathered, snuggled up to the fire and bathed in its warmth while the aroma of oatmeal, cinnamon, and coffee filled the air. Home is right here, wrapped in a blanket framed in tattered satin trim.

           "It's shivery," squeaked the younger.

            "Is shivery a word?" asked the older as she held mommas hand and played with her ring, turning it around and around.

            Momma's voice laughed, "Yes, shivery is a word."

           "Well, your hands are warmery!" giggled the older, "and they are the prettiest hands ever in the whole wide world!" Using her own chubby little hand, she traced mommas fingers, "Someday, I hope my hands look just like yours!"

            With growling tummies the girls reached for their bowls, now full of steaming hot home.

            Today will be filled with Golden books, homemade paste, a shared pair of scissors and catalogues that have arrived in the mail. There will be songs of the Muffin Man and tea pots followed by games of pat-a- cake and eye spy.

              This is the beginning of a story of fiction, sprinkled with truth from my childhood. And I am happy to say, there are many days my hands look just like hers.

Above all, put on love--the perfect bond of unity. Colossians 3:14

 

 

A New Backpack, Jesus, and Eyes that Sparkle

I recently had the fun of getting to sit down with a young girl who announced to her parents on the way to VBS Family Night that she had asked Jesus into her heart. As we talked and she answered a few questions, her sweet and simple faith came through in a most strong way.

Before we got started, she showed me her new backpack and her school supplies. Her eyes sparkled as she lifted each treasure out of the backpack and explained things such as "This was the only one" and "I had to search for this."

Kids. We can learn so much from them. Here are a few things I learned from my new sister in Christ that day:

Trust Jesus. She listened, she learned, she loves, and she accepted. Her prayer was simple because she took Jesus at His word and trusted Him to remove her sins and live in her heart.

Beautiful.

Pay attention. As we talked, this precious child answered many of my questions by relating Bible stories to me. Her parents had obviously placed a firm foundation in her life by teaching her biblical truth and she had quite literally taken it to heart.

Perfect.

Simple faith. She took Jesus at His word and acted on it. She doesn't understand everything yet but then again, neither do I. Neither do you. She didn't wait until she understood it all because she has faith in the most important truth--God loves her and sent His Son to be her personal Savior.

I am in awe.

Genuine enthusiasm. She is a quiet little girl, one of those kids who can be in a group and only speak up when directly spoken to. She listens and learns. And she absorbs every word. As we talked about Jesus her eyes sparkled just like they did when she showed me her new school supplies.

I want to be like her.

I want to trust Jesus at His word.

I want to pay attention to the Bible and to those in my life who teach me scriptural truth.

I want a simple faith that doesn't have to understand everything.

I want a genuine enthusiasm that makes my eyes sparkle when I talk about Jesus.

You know, I remember the excitement of  new crayons, shoes, and notebooks. The feeling of starting over with a clean slate. And I remember the day I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart and He made me brand new.

Oh, what a Savior to give us a clean heart!

Oh what a Savior to offer us a fresh start every time we talk with Him and listen to Him!

Oh what a Savior--true to His word!

My little sister is going to have an amazing school year. She has her new supplies and, more importantly, her new heart.

I love kids and I love that God has placed me in the lives of so many. I learn from them every day.

Oh, if we would all just come as a child...

 

 

 

I've Got Friends in Low Places

Okay, you've read the title...go ahead, sing the song and thank me later for how it will play in your head the rest of the day.


The country song was a hit in the 90's. My eldest son and his buddy loved to sing it, usually at the most inopportune times.


You'll be relieved to know I am not talking about a bar room or about people who lack social graces. On the contrary I am speaking about friends, many of whom I worship with weekly, who are covered in God's grace.


And yet lately I have more friends in low places than anywhere else.


They are climbing uphill battles that are covered with pitfalls, pain and confusion.


The pitfalls of the unexpected and unimagined hurt caused by someone they love.
The pain of illness--newly discovered or chronic--illness that attempts every day to steal their joy and cover them in despair.
The confusion of feeling ignored by God or set aside because prayers aren't being answered fast enough.
There are others who are buried in debt or are so worried about the unknown they can't catch their breath.
Many are feeling hopeless as each day our news reveals the deep depravity of mankind without Jesus. 


Whoever came up with the logo Life is Good missed the mark. Life is hard.


Some days are more difficult than others. Anyone who has lived past the age of 13 can attest to that.
There are "flairs" of  trial that are undefined and indefinite. That word "flair" is used by people who suffer with chronic or autoimmune issues. They will tell you a flair is how an episode of illness is described. It can be anything from minor, nagging issues that last a day to debilitating pain that lasts for weeks.


Do you find that you are one of my low friends?  Are you struggling today?


I have good news. Wait...strike that! I have GREAT news!


You see, I know this Promise Keeper and He is aware of your struggle. Not only is He aware of it, He has experienced the pain and pitfalls Himself. And He loves you.


King David knew Him well. David talked to God a lot and we have the benefit of his conversation. Check this out...David said (to God):
It was good for me to be afflicted so I might learn your precepts. My comfort in my sufferings is this--Your promise preserves my life. You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in Your word.
David reminds us:
I call upon the LORD in my distress, and He answers me. The Lord is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation. Shouts of joy and victory resound in the tents of the righteous: "The Lord has done mighty things!"




Low is a very scary place to be. I don't know anyone who would choose it. Will you accept some advice from someone who has spent her fair share in the low-land? Just a few things...

• It's okay to be where you are, it's not okay to stay there. Sometimes all it takes is a good, hard cry and some time talking it out with God. Other times, extra help is needed. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
• No matter what is weighing you down--health, confusion, hurt-- you can trust God to take care of you. Read the Psalms, John 14, Isaiah 26:3, and 41:10. Spending time in the Bible will bring your spirits up and will give you strength for the day.
• Do something for someone else. Maybe even anonymously. Realize there are hurting people all around you who need a kind encouraging word, a hug, or a pat on the back. Never assume a single person in your circle of friends or the strangers in the grocery store are free from pain.
• Pump up the jam! (yeah, I just embarrassed my kids with that one) God lives in the praise of His people. That's words from the Bible, not Shelley. God LIVES in your praises! So click on Pandora and create a Third Day, Brooklyn Tab, or Skillet station. Praise Him, praise Him all ye little children, God is love, God is love!

Dear Friend in low places, be encouraged today. You can trust God to take care of you. You can trust God to take care of your loved one who hurts. You can trust God to keep His promises.