The Little Marine Ornament Looking Up at Me

Freedom. Pride. America.

The little Marine ornament

Dressed in blue and smiling back at me,

Is a personal reminder

Freedom isn’t free.

Truths so familiar and yet unclear;

Will what has been always be?

And now a new light is shining

On the truth that freedom isn’t free.

The colors and lights are all the same;

The music is familiar… the aroma of the tree.

And yet there hangs an ornament;

It is a personal reminder that freedom isn’t free.

Old men with furrowed brow of experience untold,

History lessons of battles fought unselfishly

The sound of taps over flagged farewell

These are the sights and sounds of a freedom that isn’t free.

A mothers tear, a fathers faith

A sisters wishing, and a brothers pride that sees,

The grandparent’s prayers and the lover who waits,

With heavy hearts knowing freedom isn’t free.

We thank God for His priceless gift

Jesus, the author of love and grace and mercy

And we pray for His careful watch and protection

Over those who pay the price, for freedom isn’t free.

Enjoy the thrills this season brings

With grateful heart and bended knee

Whisper a prayer for those who answer the call

To sacrifice and protect a freedom that isn’t free.

We cannot take for granted

Years and tears and battles fought with bravery

We must defend and cherish this treasure

And refuse to forget that freedom isn’t free

The little Marine ornament

Dressed in blue and smiling back at me,

Is a personal reminder

Freedom isn’t free.

A Thrill of Hope...

"Turn that music off," She spat. Her voice trembled as she repeated herself and added, "I can't stand it. I just can't stand it!"

"O holy night, the stars are brightly shining..." filled the air, welcoming the little ones as they arrived.  The music muted; she turned on her heal and walked briskly into the room to wait for the soon to arrive 3 year old children.

She sat in the only adult-sized chair in the room and she hung her head.

 How can it be Christmas? How can there be happiness? One moment I was content and confident in my faith. Trusting.

I knew the time was near. I begged God for one more day. That voice, that deep and beautiful voice...just let me hear it one more time.

And then He pulled the rug out from under me. That call. Sorrow and rage consumed me when I heard the news. He was gone, without a final good-bye. Without a hug. Without one more 'I love you.' I was on my way, God! Almost there, could you not keep his spirit here for a few simple moments longer? His voice removed from this earth and placed in a perfect body...oh, his voice, will I always remember his voice? The call came...and the world kept turning.

Rage still gnawed at her. She stood and looked out the window; the sun was bright in spite of the cold air. Little bits of snow escaped the sparse clouds and appeared to be dancing to the ground. Flakes settled gently, sparkling briefly before melting into the pavement.

She felt she did not belong here today…in church. How could she show God's love to children? She didn't feel His love. Picking up her purse and Bible, she glanced at the director with eyes that burned with bitter tears, and walked out the door. The director was speechless. She could feel it oozing from the directors wordless face. Pity. Pity that started at the top of her gray streaked head and slinked downward, covering her in a pathetic overcoat of sympathy.

Her Daddy's voice. Her handsome and strong Daddy. No one knew that she still felt like an 8 year old little girl when it came to her Daddy. When did they both grow so old?

Oh, it's true that his once rock hard biceps seemed to go soft overnight. And yes, his voice was a bit shaky when he sang. It didn't change the fact that when he said her name, the sound cascaded from her ears to her heart and she felt so loved.

She wanted to run, but her own weary bones protested the thought. She looked up at the bright blue sky as the frigid breeze brushed past her face and a few stray snowflakes kissed her cheeks.

God, I am so very angry. You have a careless way of loving me. I have tried to trust you. I have tried to serve you. What do I get in return? What good does it do to trust You?

She slipped into the driver's seat, slamming the door and pitching her Bible aside as she tried to take a deep breath and let go of today's pain.

The clumsy toss of the big black leather book caused it to flop open and papers scattered to the floorboard.

She started the engine, turning up the heat to warm her iced toes. Reaching for the papers...

There it was.

Slightly browned with the passage of time.

Edges crumbling. 

Masculine handwriting in beautiful, old cursive letters of faded ink.

It had been tucked in her Bible more than fifteen years.

Her hands trembled as she carefully began to unfold the treasure. She ran her fingers over the words. She had read it countless times.

...I saddled the horse this morning and we took our time heading over to the lake. I watched  an orange and purple sunrise that didn't last long enough.

Christmas will be here soon. I will think of you as you watch the excitement in the faces of your kids. Time passes too quickly; enjoy your family. Enjoy every moment.

"O Holy Night" floated out of the car speakers. The words surrounded her as she wept. She could hear her Daddy's voice as she continued to read, the lines are blurred between Christmas memories of my own boyhood and special moments with you kids. My dad played his harmonica as we tore off the newsprint wrapping to discover our handmade gifts. You and your sisters always had eyes that sparkled with the lights from the tree. The celebrations were different and yet, both celebrated the birth of Christ. The One who came to set the captives free.

Long lay the world, in sin and error pining.

 Till He appeared, and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,

 for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn...

The thick, calloused walls around her heart began to break away and she felt peace. Pain became a shadow as the joy of celebrating the Savior came into focus.

The anger she felt towards God lost its grip on her as she settled her thoughts on The One who set the captives free. His mercy is powerful enough to cover all the ages of time.

Bitterness transformed into gratefulness. Her Daddy will celebrate this Christmas in timeless paradise, at the feet of Jesus alongside her grandfather. Maybe Grandpa will play his harmonica. A day will come when I will join them for the greatest of Christmas celebrations of all.

...Christ is the Lord! O praise His Name forever,

His power and glory evermore proclaim.

O night divine, O night, O night divine!

Maybe this year, I will wrap our gifts in newsprint and tell my grandchildren about Christmas past.

God's Hope for a Better Tomorrow, God's Plan for a Better Today

I have heard it all…call me if you’re desperate…no, no, kids just aren’t my thing…I did that last month…I’m just not feeling it…

If you know me at all, you know these are some responses to the question “Will you teach the kids?”

And, after I get over myself and the frustration of it all, I think to myself How sad, they really don’t know what a blessing they are missing.

A dear, sweet lady stopped by a room a few weeks ago where I was reading a book to half a dozen preschool kids. She thanked me for being good at my job and then she corrected herself and thanked me for being good at what I do. What a kind and sweet encouragement it was to be appreciated. Sometimes taking care of the little people is taken for granted.

But then, there are those sweet God-sent souls who see the potential and purpose in caring for God’s babies. These sweet little rascals that cry when momma leaves them, push their friend to the floor over a truck, slobber on toys and ask for Daddy 1,600 times…well, they are God’s hope for a better tomorrow. I will take that a step further and tell you they are God’s plan for a better today.

I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately. God has sent beautiful hands and feet my way during the struggles.

So this is for God’s family…whether you are there for me or for your pastor or for your preschool director at your church…

Thank you for having eyes that see what’s important.

Thank you for offering to help before I have asked.

Thank you for responding “I’d be glad to” when I do ask.

Thank you for texting that Bible verse.

Thank you for sending me a picture of one of those precious little faces when I can’t be there to see her.

Thank you for allowing me to give attention where it is needed without worry over the most important people in the church—the children.

Thank you Brenda, Luann, Jeff, Barbara, Hannah, Kevin, Tammy, Dorothy, Charlene, Luann, Starr, Kenny, Sean Paul, Johnna, Lance, Peggie, Tim, Susan, Don, Sandy, Beverly, Melissa, Diane, Mary, Dixie, Jennie, Kay, Alisha, Cindy, Sandy, Misty, April, Rachel, Jean Ann, Penny, Linda, Amanda, Melissa, Sherry, Amy, Danae, Oscar, Haley, Chuck, Melissa, Mary Jo, and Toni.(and yes, I know there are names mentioned more than once)

YOU are answers to my prayers. My prayers for God to send people who are ALL-IN as one precious friend puts it…prayers for God to provide the people who are willing to serve and worship through teaching and loving the little ones.

Some folks know that there are many ways to worship our King…and one of those ways is by caring for those who cannot take care of themselves.

And they know the supreme blessing that follows.

Children—God’s hope for a better tomorrow and His plan for a better today.

I'm Sorry. I Didn't Know.

It's November and Facebook accounts are lighting up with "Today I am thankful for..."
I think it's great to use fb in a positive way. My husband has always said the internet and social media are neither good nor bad, it's all in how they are used. He's right.

So, I thought I'd do my own "thankful challenge" and give you a list of people we often forget to thank. I will try not to preach.

The overlooked and under-thanked:

The custodian at work/church
The person at the drive-thru window
The pharmacy tech
Office assistants and receptionists
Your church pianist and praise band/choir members
Your best friend
The mail carrier
The IT guy/gal
A good neighbor
Your veterinarian
That person who is always there for you
YOUR MOTHER
Your bank teller
The lady at the check out that you see several times a week (the bagger as well)
While we are at the grocery store, don't forget the butcher and baker
VETERANS
School teachers and principles
The bus driver
The mechanic
The coach


And near and dear to my heart, take time to thank the people at church who teach and keep your children safe while you are in Sunday School, worship, choir rehearsal, meetings...don't be in such a hurry when you drop kids off or pick the kids up that you can't take a moment to appreciate the teachers for faithfully giving their time and their hearts. Great children's classes and childcare operates smoothly and to the point that folks never think twice about it being available. Because I get to work closely with the people who do such a great job at our church, I know of their personal concerns and struggles--health, family, work--and yet they give each week. Stop and say thank you.

As a matter of fact, the list of overlooked and under-thanked is full of folks who also have struggles.
Most importantly, we don't know the spiritual health of any person in our circles at work, school or church. Be Jesus to those with whom you come in contact.

Have you ever been quick to judge or fuss at someone only to have them reply by telling you they have just experienced a life altering or very troubling day and you immediately respond "I'm sorry, I didn't know"? The Holy Spirit has convicted me more than once, we shouldn't have to "know" what's going on in another person's life before we know how to treat them.

Scripture is so clear. Treat others as more important than yourself. That is not followed by an "unless you didn't know" or any other disclaimer.

Perhaps the most important way you can show your gratitude for the people in your life is to pray for them. Truly pray for them.
And when you say thank you, let them know you prayed for them. It will change the course of their day...and yours too.

I Just Feel Like No One Loves Me

It happened around this time many years ago. It was one of those "mom moments" I will never forget.

We have 4 kids and, except for the year my sweet mother-in-law made them costumes to wear to the church party, the kids have suffered as I always greatly lacked in the creative costume department. (And yes, occasionally I still beat myself up for the ways I should have done better)

This particular year all but one child was ready to go to the "Hallelujah Party" (our church equivalent of a fall fest). We piled in the big green van and stopped at a CVS to find a costume. It was October 31st...you can imagine the selection. We grabbed the most appropriate one and climbed back in the van. The child got right to work getting dressed.

And then I heard it.

A rip.

The painful sound of fabric tearing.

What came next was heartbreaking.

My child's small voice from the back of the van, "I just feel like no one loves me."

Epic fail.

I was a terrible birthday party mom. I was severely stunted in the holiday department. I needed assistance with  assisting them in the science fair madness each year...but my love?

I loved my kids with a fierce love. As they have grown into adulthood, my love has grown too. It has gone from fierce to fiercer to fiercerer.

As I have driven all over East Tennessee this week, I have been in awe of God's creative power. The vibrant colors are truly breath taking. As it rains leaves each time the wind blows I am taken back to my own childhood when I would stay outside in God's playground until my mom called me in.

When I was little, I knew there was a God who loved me very much. I'd look at the tall birch trees and the beautiful pines and I saw The Creator. I'd watch the squirrels as they scurried about getting ready for the Minnesota winter that loomed around the corner, and I felt the presence of The One who loved me enough to make the amazing world in which I was growing up.

My child was greatly saddened by circumstances. In my child's young heart and mind disappointment translated into a lack of love because if the love was there, this would not have happened.

I gave my heart to Jesus as a teenager. Through the valleys of growing in my faith, I admit to you I have wondered where God's love for me had gone. There were seasons in life when I had no doubt that He loved me enough to provide a way to have a forever relationship with Him, but  at the same time I wondered where He went when I was hurting.

In the middle of the trials of life, had He gone to sleep? Was He busy taking care of someone else? Did He stop loving me?


My child is not alone in feeling unloved in a moment of despair. Nevertheless, my love for my children is not impacted by how they feel or what they are experiencing at any given moment. 

There were bullies at school.

Sickness came and went.

There were times of discipline.

Friends would betray.

A heart would break.

And my love never wavered.

I have learned that in life:

People I love get sick.

Money gets tight.

Friends betray me.

And, yes, there are times I am disciplined.

God's love never wavers.

Isn't it great to know that God's love doesn't change according to how I feel? 

A favorite passage in Ephesians 3 describes God's love: "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

God's love for you is deep. Today might be a day filled with disappointment or the unknown, but it doesn't change His vast love for you.

Hey, by the way, I am a grandma now and my love is fiercest and fiercerest.



 

Truth Matters: The Banghazi Hearings

To be totally honest…

To tell you the truth…

The truth as I see it…

I’m watching the Benghazi Hearings as they question Hillary C. My personal politics aside, I am passionate about my country, the United States’ men and women in the military, and the lies that flowed out of the mouths of officials in the days and weeks (and even now) following that horrible night.

I realize that most of our kids are in school as I write this and even if they were home they would likely not be watching this exchange. As our elected leaders dance around the truth, I wonder…have so many lies been told that no one even knows the truth? Have so many lies been told that the liar believes his/her own lies? Or are we all to the place where we have accepted lies as the norm and relative truth rules the day?

Several years ago I had the privilege of meeting with a group of teenage girls once a week. I asked them if it was possible to go an entire day without lying. They all said no. They did not believe me when I said not only is it possible to go a full day, it is possible to be a truthful person for weeks and months.

Truth is important to God. He, in fact, is Truth. As a believer in the Lord Jesus I know personally that the truth truly does set me free. Truth is of such importance to God that it made the list of the perfect ten for living. Read the list of the 7 things God hates, you will find a lying tongue.

Understand that when truth is attacked on any level God is under attack. Relative truth is a scheme of the devil. He started it in the garden when he asked, “Did God REALLY say...” and he said, “Did God REALLY mean…” Lies place doubts in the mind and heart. Doubts and faith do not belong in the same space.

Teach your children:

It is not okay to tell half of the story.

It is not okay to change just one little word so you feel better about what you’re saying.

Tell the truth.

No matter who you are truth should be central in your character.

Do not fear the truth.

If you don’t know the truth, don’t make up an answer.

Tell the truth.

Truth is for our good.

As you teach your kids, be sure you are living it. Show them truth.  Be certain your kids see you making decisions, speaking, parenting, working, loving all based on truth.

Protect your kids from a lifestyle of lies. I know there is a lot you cannot control, but it is your responsibility to step up and protect your kids from adopting the lifestyle the world offers. Ask yourself:

What movies/programs am I allowing my kids to watch?

What video games am I allowing my kids to play?

When I know my child just lied to me, no matter how small the matter might be, do I pass over the lie because I do not have the energy to deal with it? Or do I take the opportunity to teach just how important truth is?

Am I open with my kids about how difficult is it at times to be honest, but in spite of the struggle, the truth should always be told?

Have I taken the time to teach my kids that once a lie is told and trust is broken it takes time to rebuild that trust?

I want the parents of my TOBC kids to know, that if and when your child lies to me, I will not walk away or pat him/her on the head. There are times I see an action or hear unkind words and I question the guilty only to be lied to. I understand, no one wants to be in trouble. But I will not let the opportunity to teach, in love, that the truth is important to God.

Confession—I made many mistakes as my kids were growing up. My kids are all real people; they came from parents who are real people. Aren’t you glad, that we are all in the same boat but the word of God is in the boat with us?

I realize I have barely scratched the surface of the value of truth. Please search your Bible for yourself. Invite your kids to search with you. Discover truth together.

The horrible attacks were 3 years ago and, because people do not want to just tell the truth, we are still trying to figure it all out. My heart aches for the families. My heart aches for America.

Truth Matters.

When I Walk Through The Door--What Teens & Kids Wish You Knew

When I walk Through the Door…

I am glad you are at church when I get there. I’m glad I can count on you to be there.

When I come to church

              Please don’t assume my insides are as together as my outsides appear. It is easy to put on the Sunday face…

                        You might think you know my family- but you don’t. It’s possible that my dad is addicted to pain pills or my mom would rather work than be with me. It’s possible that my parents fight all the time and have separate bedrooms.

       Don’t over-concern yourself with how straight I sit or how closely you think I am paying attention. I may be slumped in my chair with my head down, but I am hearing every word.

                                              Keep yourself mindful that perhaps I have a parent who is chronically ill….

Please, please be happy to see me. Sometimes I wonder why my teachers at school seem happier to see me than you do. I need to know you genuinely care about me, not because you HAVE to but because you feel it in your heart.

When I come to church

                 Please don’t assume I am content with myself…would you be surprised to know I’ve contemplated suicide?

     I need you to laugh with me.  School is hard, home is hard, I have struggles I don’t tell anyone.

I want to learn about Jesus but I NEED to see Him in you. I NEED you to SHOW me why this Christian way of living is best.

I don’t understand when you are grouchy and take it out on me. I can stay home for that.

                       I love it when you listen to me and I can tell you are truly listening. I feel accepted and important to you when you are smiling, call me by my name, and hug me!

                                                   I feel secure when you pray with me and the prayer is not generic but specific to the things I have told you. It means a lot when you remember and ask me about the things we have prayed about together.

When “things” happen in my life I want to know I can call you. I need you to cry with me, laugh with me, dream with me, cheer for me, be Jesus in my life.

I am glad you are at church when I get there. I’m glad I can count on you to be there.

Maybe this is what the adult next to you wishes you knew as well.

Acts 2