June 22.
Mom's birthday. The one she wanted to live to see.
She tried. She really tried. What an amazing woman she was.
For those of us left behind, this day is strange.
Relief that she is no longer hurting, no longer striving, no longer trying.
Sorrow because we long to be near her.
Gratitude for what she gave us.
As one of my sisters said, the world is "off" now. Not right. Different. Nothing matters and yet everything matters very much.
As my brother and I discussed--our mother's love continues through us. Each time we love on a little one--oh, how she loved babies. Each time we bake something she was known for or sing a song or plant or pick a flower. Even in our anger, her love lives on.
She will never be 75. And what an amazing blessing that is, because now she lives outside of time. We mark our days by birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, promotions, celebrations …
But the celebration in heaven isn't marked by time. An eternal celebration of the Blood of The Lamb is going strong. The eternal celebration of life in paradise without end. The eternal celebration of the love of God.
My mom praised Jesus for giving her strength. In her last days, when words were few, she praised Him for strength. What an amazing remembrance. He is the Giver of all strength.
I think on that often.
Are you longing for someone?
It's okay to cry, but don't cry too long. Instead, try to imagine the celebration. Try to imagine eternity outside of time.
I gave all I understood of myself to all I understood of God when I was young. My dad told me of his prayer asking Jesus into his heart at the age of 18. I don't know how old my mom was when she invited Jesus into her heart. I hope you have done so as well.
When I step outside of time and into forever, I'll thank Jesus for saving my soul. I'll find my dad. He's been gone ten years. And I'll find my mom. And we will recognize each other.
And we will celebrate Jesus forever and ever and ever and ever …
And birthdays will be no more.
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