Friday, March 18, 2016

When There are no Words...KNOWING


There is a kind of parental love that comes along with being a pastor’s wife. It’s difficult to explain the relationship between my church family and me. I love each one in a motherly way, regardless of age.

Most of the time, ministering to and with my family is a joy. I have such a wonderful “seat” at the table.

But then there are seasons like the present. When there is heartache and heartbreak. “Why’s” echo through tear-filled eyes.  Hollow eyes betray the strong exterior as fear creeps in. And in my motherly sort of way, I want to fix it. I want to have the perfect words that make it all better no different from the moment this morning when my sweet grandbaby bumped her head and began to cry.

 “Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?”

She walked over and leaned in. I kissed her head and hugged her. “I’m so sorry you got hurt, baby.”

She quit crying and went back to playing.

The kiss made it all better.

The trials of this day are far greater.

As my heart breaks for the people I dearly love, I resist to slip into

 “If you really loved us Lord, this would not be happening”

“We serve you Lord, where is the protection that should come our way?”

“You are the Divine Healer…what happened? Did you look the other way?”

And in my search to fix it I am reminded, pain or trial in life is never experienced without purpose for those who love God. 

Among His many promises to His kids, God gives us the only answer to “why?”

Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. James 1

Don’t get tripped up over the first few words of this verse, those words that tell us to consider it great joy when we experience these hardships. Don’t overlook the next word…KNOWING…

What a gift God gave us in this word. It doesn’t say guessing or hoping.

KNOWING.

KNOWING what is happening in life produces endurance because as faith is pushed to its limits we see God keeps His promises.  Even better we can KNOW that it is not endurance just for the sake of enduring. God is right there, active as the endurance becomes complete so we may…look at it… look at the last two words be LACKING NOTHING.

I’m no stranger to the personal pain that has caused me to weep, face to the floor, and beg for God’s intervention.  I have looked toward heaven and wanted Him to step in and stop the pain now. I confessed that I did not ask for endurance nor did I choose this path toward being complete, lacking nothing.

God, in His great wisdom, loved me deeply as my pain seemed to envelope me. His presence has never been more real than in the alone that is found in the dark of night. When tears flow freely and there is no need for the face of “I’m okay.”

God has allowed my honesty in weakness.  And He is near and is listening as my family members ache and ask “why?”

Psalm 56…You Yourself have recorded my wanderings. Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your records?  Then my enemies will retreat on the day when I call. This I KNOW: God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not fear. What can man do to me?

The enemies of death, cancer, fear, loneliness, addiction, betrayal…add the enemy you are facing to this list.

I wish I could gather you...Marcie, Chad, Sherry… in my arms and, with motherly love, kiss your forehead and make it all better.

You can trust that I, and many others in the family, are praying and believing and KNOWING…

God is for you.

You are in the middle of “complete.”

I need thee every hour…Most gracious Lord…No tender voice like thine…Can peace afford…I need thee…oh I need thee…Every hour I need thee…Oh bless me now my savior…I come to thee








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